Round and Round

With every day come new challenges and accomplishments. Fears and Tears. Joy and Laughter. Such is my life lately. I do apologize to those devoted readers of this Blog that I have been absent from the Land of Posts lately. Life has again turned upside down and stalled...like one of those roller coaster videos that they show on the news.

Also with each new day there is good news & not-so-good news. Today, however there is AMAZING NEWS! Our little Piglet is potty trained! YEA! You heard me! She has not worn a diaper since Friday and is walking around int he cutest big girl panties you ever saw. Her face shines with the great feeling of pride and we always have to do a little dance every time she pees. For those of you who are not parents, you too...one day....God willing...will dance while flushing! Trust me on this one. Beana on the other hand is nowhere near sans diaper. In fact, if you ask her if she wants to be a big girl like her sister, she puts her thumb in her mouth and just says she wants to be a baby. OK. One of two aint' bad...right?

The not-so-good news is that my living arrangements have changed. My children and I are now staying at my Mom's house while she is in Hawaii and then probably a few more weeks after she returns.

Marriage is never something I took lightly. I went in with eyes wide open and I knew that it wouldn't be easy. He never promised me he would become the better man I still believe he can be. He never lied about who he was, which is a good thing if you think about it. I was not tricked, in fact sometimes I was the one pulling the strings. I take my Marriage very seriously and it's current condition renders me an emotional disaster. I am sad that I am not strong enough to hold it all together. I am sad that my children might miss out on a great family experience. I am sad.

And that is about all I can write for now. I apologize for the drama! I promise it will get better....At least, that is what I keep chanting to myself.

Mirth & Merriment!

SATISFACTION!

Good Thursday to all you happy, depressed, lonely, happily married readers. Did I cover it? Good!

Anyway, it is time for your Daily Dose and today I am doing something a bit different. I want to know the top 3 things YOU CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT but I am applying rules:

Rule #1- You cannot name spouse, children, family or friends. Those are a given. We all know that, although you would be a much more sane individual without them, we cannot live without our kids and hubby!

Rule #2- For each thing you name, you must reference a quote or song about it.

So, here are mine...

COFFEE. In any form, be it ice cream or hot lava being poured down my throat...I just couldn't imagine a day without it. And even though I do not have a cup every day, the idea that I could if I wanted (needed) to is enough for me. However since decaf is the devil's blend, I prefer as much caffeine as possible. At Starbucks, my order is a triple Venti Caramel Macchiato. Yes, triple shot! You gotta problem with that? I didn't think so. The last thing you want to see is me without caffeine. Trust me. It is not pretty. Remember Richard Nixon? I look like him, only with better hair!

Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with. ~Drew Sirtors

MUSIC. If I was stranded on an island with nothing, but coffee...I would still require a soundtrack to live by. My life has always had surround sound, even before we knew what that was. Whether I had just AM radio or a lifetime supply of CD's....my life would not be the same without them.

Music...makes the people....come together - Madonna

MY BRA! Yes, I know. It seems a tad superficial to speak of, but come on. If I went without, eyes would be black....and people would stare....and not necessarily the people who you want staring, either. If I only had one, which I have done before (yes, I washed it everyday!) that would suffice. However, if I were given a shopping spree to Creative Woman....I would buy one in every color, every style and be the happiest girl on earth. Did I ever tell you about the time I went with my chest-deprived sister in law to try on a Water Bra? Hi, Jules!!!

Oh I have a brand new bra on

A brand new bra have I

The elastic isn't shot

And it's not full of holes

And both my boobs

Point in the same direction now. . . .Oh I have a brand new bra on!

THE BRA SONG ( I didn't make it up!)

So, go for it. Be creative, as I know you all are.

Mirth & Merriment.

The Name Game

I got this email from my friend Missy (thanks!) so I just thought I would share and see what my readers have to say...

Rules: Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following...They MUST be real places, names, things...NOTHING made up!Try your hardest NOT to leave blanks. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question... Now Go!


Your Name: Leigh
1. Famous singer/band: Little River Band
2. 4 letter word: lust
3. Street name: Leffingwell
4. Color: Lime green
5. Gifts/presents: lillies
6. Vehicle: Lexus
7. Things in a Souvenir Shop: light up bookmarks
8. Boy Name: Leonard
9. Girl Name: Leilani
10. Movie: Little Children
11. Drink: Lemon Drop
12. Occupation: lithographer
14. Celebrity: Lindsay Lohan
15. Magazine: Life
16. U.S. city: Littlerock, Arkansas
17. Pro Sports Teams: Lakers
18. Fruit: Lime
19. Reason for Being Late for Work: lack of sleep?
20. Things you throw away: lollipop sticks
21. Things you shout: LOSER!
22. Cartoon character: Little LuLu

M&M

California Girls

Ok. I survived the trip to the Beach...and without Xanax! I am so proud of myself.

If any of you have ever met my 2 little girls, you know that the only things they have in common are parents and birth date...that's it. Not even the same time! Well, their very first Beach experience proved the point yet once again.

Beana wanted nothing to do with sand! EWW! Sorta like me that way! She headed straight for the water and with her fists up, egged the waves on, as if to say "is that all you've got?" She would then get toppled over and without missing a step, get right back up and face her fears again. What a girl. I wish I were so brave!

On the other hand, our little Piglet loves the sand! She held my hand as we took long walks on the beach, as romantic as it gets! She is like me that way. She went into the water just once and that was all she needed...fix was fixxed!

I am sunburned and back to work after my one vacation day. Yes, I wore sunscreen!

Mirth & Merriment....

Head Games

Having graduated from Cosmetology School sometime in 1990...I can honestly say that I have perfected the art of screwing up someones hair. I have bleached myself to piss-yellow with no natural color in sight. I have colored my dear sister's hair and caused a crazy electrocuted mess.

With that said...I have a little story for you....Last night, my niece is who is visiting and I decided to put some highlights in her hair. Now, before you say anything else, my sister was completely aware of the procedure to be done. There...I said it. We went to the store and picked out a kit to do it and I felt very confident that we could do a great job. It was about 7 last night and I said "Get in here...let's do this thing!". I combed it in, following all written instructions, the English side, not the Spanish. While I was applying the silly idea came into my head that I think my son would look good with highlights. Right. So, after I was done streaking this blue-bleach on to my niece's hair, I took a couple swipes of Matthew's hair. OK. His hair is a medium brown, so I wasn't expecting much. Another side thought was that we were going to buzz his hair off this week anyway, so anything I screwed up wouldn't look too bad since he would be bald soon anyway.

30 minutes later, I rinsed, washed and conditioned Melissa's hair. I also rinsed, washed and conditioned Matt's hair. OMG! Melissa's hair looked great. Blonde streaks in her dirty blonde mess. Matthew, my first born, love o my life, looked like a freak! Now, let me rephrase it. He looked like a punk rock, crack addicted, rock star living on the street who found something in a bottle without a label behind a dumpster and just washed his hair with it. Not as good as I imagined it would be. Thank God we are cutting it all off soon....maybe tonight!

I guess I'm glad I didn't try any on me...even tho I was tempted.

Tomorrow is my son and daughter's first visit to the Beach. I hate the beach. I hate the sand. As a child, I didn't care that my vajajay was entombed in sand or that it was crowded. As an adult, the thought is freaking me out, especially with 2 little girls who hate to have a diaper change. I hate the crowds. I hate that people are constantly running around, kicking sand everywhere. Even more reason to hate is the 3 young people that I have carried in my womb who do not have any idea how to swim. I picture them running towards the deep blue sea and never seeing them again. I am having such fear over this one outing that I am sure I might OD on my anti-anxiety pills. I will let you know how it goes, but pray for me, will you? I don't care what God you say those prayers to...JUST DO IT!

Mirth & Merriment to you...
I was recently asked why I sign off with M&M. Well, I will tell you. When I was a Senior in HS, my favorite teacher and mentor, Mrs J, signed my yearbook. Back story: She had also taught my older bro and sis and I was the end of the line. She wrote to me that I had always provided her with "Mirth & Merriment". I think it is quite possibly the nicest thing ever written about me. So there you have it.

Brown Eyed Girl

Hello, all! Since today is Friday the 13th, I thought that I would discuss 13...the age! I am very happy that my 13 year old niece has arrived for a few week visit to California. She was born in South Carolina and resided here for several years before her parents moved to Georgia. That hurt a lot when they moved taking 3 of my niece and nephews with them. Several hours of therapy and medication bottles later, I realize that they did what was best for them, disregarding my personal feelings, but then my older sister isn't supposed to take me into consideration on anything that she does. Go figure!

Seeing Mel sure takes me back to 13. Not an easy thing or solicited, mind you. 13 was awkward for me, as if anyone actually sailed through it. I was blessed, however. I never had bad skin. That was the one great thing about me as a teen. Because I always was in a chlorinated pool, my skin was never given the chance to be oily, but I do have dry skin. Things could have been worse. I could have been a pro active ad waiting to happen! That stuff does work, by the way. My stepdaughter is proof! My hair was alright, a lot straighter than it is now...damn those drugs! I was flat chested and had freckles. Do I sound like a complete dork or what?

Melissa is a beautiful girl, although she is way too skinny. However, that is not her fault. I was scrawny, her mom was scrawny, she comes by it honestly. Thank goodness, one day she will fill out and become a va-va-voom type...I have no doubts. She has been a real source of hysterical laughter for my son and amazement for me. I am so proud that she is my niece. She has her own sense of style, which could use a little Auntie-touch. We are going school shopping this weekend! I am also going to give her some blond highlights in her dirty blond hair...that should be cool. Her mom has told me that I am not allowed to put pink, red, blue or purple in her hair! What does she take me for? I didn't go to Cosmetology school for nothing! Notice that my sister didn't say green..hehehehehe!

Anyway, have a great weekend everyone. I plan to relax and enjoy my family! I hope that you all can do the same.

Good Luck moving, Jackie. I wish I could help but with my kids, my back AND my hernia....I would be a disaster! Love you!!!!

Mirth & Merriment To You & Yours!!!!

I Will Remember You...

One of my previous Daily Dose lists asked the question: what are you top 3 favorite toppings on pizza! MSN has decided to follow suit and here you go. You can tell a lot about people about what they put on their pizza's...go figure!

If your date orders one meat topping… People who order just pepperoni or sausage on their pie are generally irritable, prone to procrastination, and they often “forget” obligations (like that weekend getaway he or she promised to take with you in the spring).Compatible with: others who prefer one meat topping

If your date orders multiple meat toppings…Real meat lovers who pile on the pepperoni, sausage, and ham tend to be dramatic, seductive, sweep-you-off-your-feet extroverts who thrive as the center of attention.Compatible with: people who prefer one meat topping

If your date orders one veggie topping…Those who prefer one vegetable topping are empathetic, easygoing romantics.Compatible with: everybody!If your date orders multiple veggies…These dates are trustworthy, loyal, humble, and avoid the spotlight. In fact, they’re so quiet and conflict-averse they tend to be taken for granted in relationships.Compatible with: people who prefer non-traditional toppings

If your date orders non-traditional toppings…People who prefer offbeat options like pineapple or extra onions tend to be aggressive, ambitious, and competitive. In other words: Don’t expect a mellow relationship.Compatible with: others who prefer non-traditional toppings

A Moment Like This

Ok. I haven't posted in awhile, but trust me....my ass has not been sitting long enough to think of something wickedly funny to say. But, it is Thursday and time for my Daily Dose. What should I ask you all to tell me? Hmmm....let me think. OK. I got it! Please let me know your Top 3 Ice Cream Flavors. I know, it seems a tad basic, but I am feeling quite basic today. Also, ice cream is a luxury in my house and I am having some major cravings for something cold and creamy.

#1 - Pralines n Cream. It really doesn't matter which brand, but Baskin-Robbins is great! I just love the sweetened nuts and the rich ice cream.

#2- Rocky Road. I love Rocky Road. My kids love Rocky Road. What is better than chocolate, nuts and marshmallows? It really doesn't get any better than that.

#3- Bubble Gum. Yes, I am a 37 year old mother of 4, but come on. You only live once. There was a time that I knew someone who worked for Dreyers and I received a 25 gallon (it was huge!) tub of bubble gum ice cream. I enjoyed saving the gum until I was done with the bowl.

Honorable Mention goes to Coffee, Strawberry and Ben & Jerry's Apple Pie.

Cool off...and let me know what you prefer on your spoon!

Mirth & Merriment....

Little Earthquakes

I am used to my life being on unstable ground. I have lived in California for the majority of my life and therefore, know that duck and cover is just part of a daily routine here. However, since the earth is constantly moving here, my equilibrium is always a bit "off".

That said, life this weekend was rather ho-hum, which throws me off, too. I spent Friday night alone with my husband...some alone time we are desperate for lately. On Saturday, I got to watch my fantastic 6 year old ride his bike without training wheels and see my Mom on her 67th birthday and on Sunday I cleaned my house. Very boring, with the exception of Saturday. My kid ROCKS on 2 wheels.

So, that's it...

Mirth & Merriment

THE STORY

I just love this song...

The Story by Brandi Carlisle

All of these lines across my face

Tell you the story of who I am

So many stories of where I've been

And how I got to where I am

But these stories don't mean anything

When you've got no one to tell them to

It's true...I was made for you

I climbed across the mountain tops

Swam all across the ocean blue

I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules

But baby I broke them all for you

Because even when I was flat broke

You made me feel like a million bucks

You do...I was made for you

You see the smile that's on my mouth

It's hiding the words that don't come out

And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed

They don't know my head is a mess

No, they don't know who I really am

And they don't know what I've been through like you do

And I was made for you...

All of these lines across my face

Tell you the story of who I am

So many stories of where I've been

And how I got to where I am

But these stories don't mean anything

When you've got no one to tell them to

It's true...

I was made for you

I Can't Smile Without You

Now, for those of you who knew me when my son was just a baby, you know that I could not bare to be without him for too long. I was constantly unhappy and wondering if he was as devastated as I was with being apart. However, he never was. He was always a happy baby and when we finally saw each other after a long day or a weekend away, I would cry and hold him, praying that he would whisper in my ear something dear like "I couldn't smile without you!" That never happened. In fact, when he was in Preschool, most days he wouldn't even notice when I was there to pick him up.

Well, things have changed. Having 2 little one's around makes you long for days of silence. With that being said, my husband's grandmother will be picking up our little Angel's for a sleepover. I am overjoyed! Having a night without someone spitting on me, pooping on the couch, watching me pee, yelling in my face...that sounds great. Although, I do miss them terribly when they are gone, especially late at night when I wish I was getting good night kisses and hugs. But, I also use this time to be with my son, who unfortunately since his sisters were born does not get alone time with me.

I hope that you all have a great weekend! Have a great birthday night out, Josh.

Mirth & Merriment....

Straight From The Heart

I trust that since you are reading this, you had a safe 4th of July. We had a blast, as always, at our family reunion-Nation's Birthday bash!

It is time for my Daily Dose for the week and due to the recent celebration, here goes...YOUR FAVORITE HOLIDAYS.

#1-Halloween. Ever since I was a kid, I have loved dressing up, pretending to be someone you're not, getting candy? Please! It doesn't get better than that. Except when you become the parent to children who get that excited, can't sit still, gotta pee expression on their faces right before you head out to trick-or-treat. I still go through their candy when they sleep and take what I want, making sure to leave them plenty of the stuff that grosses me out but they eat anyway.

#2- Easter. I am big on traditions and I love to watch the kids search for eggs. As a child, I couldn't wait to put on my new dress and new shoes and get grass-stained looking through wet grass for eggs that then bled their pretty Spring colors all over your hands. MMMM...

#3- New Years. I like the idea of a new year...starting over. Out with the old, in with the new. I like toasting to new beginnings using my Great-Grandmother's crystal. I like to hear what my children wish for the upcoming 365 days.

Honorable Mention - Yes, Christmas.

Mirth & Merriment

Baby Got Back! (no, not me!)

I have never been someone known for a great ass! I have had my ass kicked. I have had my ass chewed out! I have been known as some one's "Piece of Ass" (sorry, mom!)! I have acted like an ass and ridden some one's ass...but as for the flesh below my spine...flat as a damned board. I can thank my Grandma Billie for this. For she too, had a lower back with a crack, no roundness...just flatness! I admire the girls I see around the office who have nice size butt's from small to large to GOOD GOD! Their pants fit them better, they shake a little more when they walk down the hall...I am jealous! I admit. I know that Envy is one of the 7 deadly sins, but come on...ya gotta want what ya ain't got!

However, some of those I have seen, and I don't want to mention names...are lacking in the one department in which I am well qualified to speak of. If they had a boob-tournament, I could be the leader....If the Rose Parade was about boobies, I would be the Grand Marshall. If there were a forum for people with boobs who lie and cheat....I WOULD BE THE GEORGE W. BUSH OF THE BUNCH. Ahem. Let me tell you the story of my girls.

Now, when I was a young girl, my very best friend in the world Alice was developing quite a bit faster than the rest of us pathetic little wannabees. She was probably a C cup in 6th grade. YEAH, you heard me! So, when going into my Freshman year of high school, I realized that the training bra that I was still wearing from 6th grade just wasn't filling out, I was, for a better word, unhappy. While the boys all ran around pulling at bra straps of those more fortunate than myself, I just sang Culture Club songs to myself. However every night, I held a vigil to the Gods that one day, and hopefully soon, that my nubs would turn into hooters...and I waited. I waited and waited and waited and by the time I graduated from High School, I was a 38 C. Not too big, not too small, just right for me. I was satisfied and my prayers had been answered. I had other things to concentrate on now...I don't remember what, but I was working on something!

When I moved to Texas after graduation, I decided that I was old enough to go on birth control pills. I hadn't had sex in God knows how long, but being on the pill would protect me in the Lone Star State from getting knocked up with some hillbilly's kid. So at 18, I went on the pill. Remember that I had long before stopped dropping to my knees and praying for Tinkerbell to sprinkle boobie dust on me. I was good. Good. GOOD!

Overnight it seemed, my ladies began to grow. Two years later, I was already a D cup and a year later, a DD. What is going on? It was like that movie with Beau Bridges where the hippy kids in the 1960's eat that stuff and they grow into giants. I mean, I was literally busting out of my clothes. I decided that buttons on my shirts could be construed as assault with a deadly weapon, so I steered away from them. Part of me was a bit happy that now all these men were staring at me, not for my stunning good looks (as if!), but because I had a nice rack. Sweet.

When I was about 9 months pregnant with my son, I went in search of a training bra. That was a joke! Every store that I went to looked at me, looked down, and then said "Honey, we don't carry your size!" I had to go to a specialty store where strippers go to buy pasties for their extra large implanted breasts. I was fitted for a bra and my jaw was left wide open when she told me the size was HHH. I'm sorry. Can you say that again? How many letters? Where did E, F and G go? How do you get to that size? After I caught my breath, I realized that it was probably because I was all knocked up and swollen. Yeah, that would be the non-realistic view. After he was born, I was the same size. Two months later, the same size. Two years later, the same size.

I finally went back to get a new bra and I was now a GG. Ok, so I was happy. I mean, at least they had come down a little. I was now a GG...as in...GOOD GOD! And that is where I have remained.

I do not mind that people talk to my chest...for there was a time that I prayed for it. I do mind that they talk only to my chest, for I do have a brain in my head. Although, most days, I am hard pressed to find that brain. Somehow instead of the Ugly Duckling turning in to a beautiful swan...I became a 13 year old boy who became Dolly Parton. And listen up, there is nothing wrong with that!

Mirth & Merriment to you....

Is there Anybody Out There?

For the last 4 or 5 posts now, I have received no comments at all. What is wrong with you people? I write to piss off. I write to make you think. I write when I am bored, basically. But, nothing? You have nothing to say? HMMMPH! That is what I have to say.

I enjoyed watching a movie with my son last night. The Bridge To Terabitha is a great film, albeit a little "My Girl" sad. I like to watch his face when he is watching a movie that has some kind of fantasy aspect...he loves Harry Potter! His eyes widen, his pulse races and I love it. He is such a kid at heart. He loves to say things like "this sucks" or his new one "un-freaken-believable" (side note: I do not appreciate the art this is this type of conversation from someone I spent 18 hours of my life in pain for!) which make him feel older than his 6 years, 9 months. Well, he is still a kid. TA DA! Hate to ruin everything for him.

We also went to the park and because I constantly have to scream his name out, two...three...four-hundred times, there were some little girls that, when we left, called out his name! What? Hold on here, sisters! What do you think you are doing? Are you...are you...you're flirting with my son! Who are you? Who are your parents? Do they know you do this sort of thing? But, then I take a deep breath and realize that he is pretty darn cute and I should be happy that girls find him as adorable as I do. OK, so I took my pills and feel better about it.

I also got to talk to my step-sister last night for over an hour...which was awesome. She and I used to be great buddies and then, of course, I fucked it up! I did things that were immature and disrespectful and I am forever sorry. But, letting bygones be what they are, we are great pen-pals...which is sort of how our relationship started in the first place...all those 30+ years ago. I am hoping to get to see her soon, hug her, tell her that I love her very much and that I hope that she knows that I didn't ever mean to hurt her or her mom...I was just so lost when I was younger. Not that I am so "found" now...but, I digress...I love you, Kim!

So...how was your weekend? Talk to me, dammit. I don't type for nothin'!

Mirth & Merriment to you...but only if you comment on my blogs! J/K