Underneath It All...

Just 3 pictures to show you what matter to me...minus the dudes! I would let you know what I have been up to for the past week, but you would get bored! Scarlet Fever...Again! Step Throat times 3! Fevers over 102 for 3 days! Yeah, I'm pooped. Did I mention the strep throat and fever was me, too?

Mirth & Much Merriment...

And Good Health!!!!!

I Would Be Good

Do we really know each other? I mean, I would like to think that I know a handful of people, but do I really? The subject came up when a former co-worker of my husband and someone he would have called a friend began reading my rantings here. She emailed me and mentioned that she never really knew me. Then I started thinking…does anyone really know me? If I were to die today and each of you reading this were questioned about my life, how many questions would you not have answers for? There are probably just a handful, ok…maybe just 3 people in the world who really know me. I think that is sad.

Then my memory turned to my school days, both high school and college. I loved writing…I always have. In one of those classes I was asked to write my own obituary. I am one of the proud daily routine readers of the local obituaries. I find it fascinating to read about their lives and loves. Their many accomplishments and the lives that they touched and the hearts that are broken now that they are gone from this world. I also seem to find people that I have known there and am touched to find out something about them that I did not already know. I am often saddened when only a name and funeral home is listed. Did that person not deserve a paragraph of their own? Did they not live and love? How sad to think that your entire life on this earth can be summed up in one sentence, fragmented or not. So, my task today is simple. I will write my obituary. Those of you who remember this post when I am gone, can edit this as to people and places, but as of today…this is me, dark humor and all!

“Lenore Frances Jacobson Torres was born on November 20, 1970 at Tripler Hospital in Honolulu Hawaii to Viola Gene and Ronald James. She was their third and final child. Being a Military Brat, “Lee” lived in many different places, but finally came to find her true home in California. As a child, she had a wild and vivid imagination. She liked to pretend to “Boogie Board” on the sands of any beach and grabbed attention where she could. Being the youngest in the family, was not meant to be when her Mom married Richard Dana in 1976 and brought her a younger sister, albeit 3 months younger. She also gained an older sister when her father married Shirley Cagle. At Orangewood Elementary School she starred in “South Pacific” and shocked those who knew her with her ability to act and sing…very LOUDLY! She attended Willowood Junior High and was majorly pissed off when parts of the school, well most of the school burned down. I mean, she had to carry her own books! In 1984 she started her Freshman year at Edgewood High School. In her 4 years there, she was on the Varsity swim team and a Trojanaire. She acted and directed many productions and was even nominated for the Prom Court. After graduation, she moved to Texas to live with her dad and family. She attended Ogle School of Cosmetology and after failing the test just a few times…she finally did earn her license. She had her first job at The Burger Box where she learned to make really good ice cream sodas. But, her life in Texas was not meant to last and she returned to California where she started taking courses. She is the proud Aunt of 9 nieces and nephews. She loved and lost many a beau, but found her husband Anthony living in the same apartment complex. In 2000, they created a beautiful son and 5 years later 2 daughters. Anthony also gave Leigh the chance to be a stepmom to his fantastic daughter. Leigh worked at DeWitt Petroleum since 2001. She felt happy and accomplished in her work there and the friendships she made there. She could always be found laughing in the hallways. Throughout her life, Leigh lived with the moto that you should have no regrets. In her death, she did have just one…that she had not lived longer.

Leigh is survived by her husband Anthony and their honorable children Areyani, Matthew, Athena and Aliza. It is through them that her memory, voice, love and laughter will live on. Her understanding parents; Viola and Richard Dana and her father ; Ronald Jacobson. Her intelligent older brother Matt and his family- Julie (as close to her sister as they get!), Charles, Godson Griffin and Michael. Her talented older sister Paula and her family- Brian, Andrew, Melissa and Godson Wil. Her faithful younger sister Sherry and her family- Ross, Kyle, Courtney and James. Her humorous older sister Kimberly and her family – Rodney, Bailee and Dylann. She is also survived by her Aunt Frances who never allowed her to be called by her first name, she always had to say “AUNT” first and her husband Jim and her stepmother Shirley. Her cousin William and Lina and her Goddaughter Eva Elizabeth; cousin Brian and daughter Abigail; cousin Dustin and his family Consuela, Ashley, Desiree and Daniel and her Godparents Mike and Esther Mangerino. She has many relatives who are asked to remember her as being joyous and quick witted. To her best of friends: Claudia, Jackie, Alice, Wendie, Maria, Erica, Quita, Melissa x’s two, Jenniefer, Yvette, Mari and all of those who enjoyed any amount of time with Leigh- whether it was 2 minutes or 20 years…you were all cherished! And although there are many who loved her and were loved by her, there were also those who disagreed with her views or perhaps fought when they had better things to do. To all of you who fit into that category know this: Leigh has done the very best thing possible- she has forgiven and now forgotten. Do not linger with regrets, for Leigh did not have any. She lived every moment to the fullest and made sure that everyone who came in contact with her would never forget her.”

Mirth & Merriment..

Big Girls Don't Cry.

As a child, I used to love getting mail. The birthday cards, with some sort of monetary gesture inside, Ranger Rick magazine, postcards from family who were traveling…anything. In fact, I used to wait in anticipation for the UPS guy to bring me the boxes that would hold my Christmas gifts. Now I hate mail! I hate that the only thing you ever get are sweetly worded letters from people wanting money, more shiny flyers about furniture and pizza and then even more bills. On a rare occasion, you do receive something that brings a tear to your eye and a smile to your face. That is what happened to me when I got home from work on Monday night.

I wasn’t feeling well. I left work just knowing that I was getting sick. My chest was tight, my cough was dry and my head hurt. I was definitely getting sick, if I wasn’t already in the throws of it already. I plopped my purse down and looked at the counter. The first thing I saw, underneath everything else mentioned above, was a return address label with my sisters name on it. That is the smile. I grabbed it, knocking all the junk to the floor that I had to ask Matthew to pick up for fear that if I had bent over, my head would explode and cover my children in particulate matter. As I opened the envelope, that is when the tears came.

You see, my sister came to our family when her dad married my mom way back in 1976. She is just 3 months younger than I am and I love her to death. She is funny and smart. She is quite possibly the best mom I know and her children and polite and kind. She got out of a marriage a few years back that left her broken hearted and questioning her self worth. He was a bastard…simply put. He didn’t deserve my sisters love and respect and she put more into the marriage than he did…just my opinion. It was very hard to see her hurting and living in Arizona. Had she been here, we would have been drinking wine weekly and crying with each other. I feel bad that I wasn’t there for her during the roughest moments of her life. But, she knows that I love her.

What came in the mail was my sisters wedding invitation. YUP…she found love and healed that heart right up! He is a great guy. There was a picture enclosed with the invite and then there were more tears. She and her new Mr. look blissfully happy. Serene. IN LOVE! What a wonderful end to a stressful day.

So, to Sherry and Ross…I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I am so glad that my sister has found true love and that you two are on your way to forever. I love you both.


Mirth & Merriment.

Right Now!

I have enjoyed eating many different things in my life. I love SPAM fried up with eggs or mac n cheese. I have eaten tongue sandwiches and licked my fingers afterwards. I have eaten rabbit – and yes, it tastes just like chicken. I ate paste and crayons as a kid. Heck, I have put things in my mouth that I cannot even discuss in public. But, I can honestly say that I will now announce a list of things that, even in my reigning fat girl champion status, will never, did I say never, enter my mouth, let alone have the opportunity to digest in my body.

BALUT. What the f***! Who on earth could think that eating an embryo would be delicious?

I understand that it is a different culture than the one I know and love, but come on! Seriously, feathers and a beak and you eat it? You chomp it? You crunch down on the little thing like it is a Double Double with grilled onions and that is normal? I have watched Fear Factor many times and seen them eat most of the things that are on this list, but I would have to smoke some pretty amazing pot before putting this in my mouth…even for a Million dollars! Now my good diva-ish friend Hoa swears that they are quite tasty...but still? Are you f'in kidding me? AN EMBRYO? IN MY MOUTH? HELL to-the NO!

ANYTHING ALIVE. There will be no Madagascar hissing cockroaches moving around in my mouth. No beetles. No spiders. No lizards…nothing. There is just no way! On FF I see them putting spiders in their mouths and covering their noses. WHY? Do the spiders smell bad? I think I would handle the smell, dude…it’s those hairy legs tickling your lips while you are opening wide for an eight legged snack. I am good with things that are dead…however…..


INSECTS, BUGS or ANYTHING FROM NATIONAL GEOGRPAHIC. Even dead, I am not sure that anything listed above or crickets or ants would ever be something I could eat and then say, with my eyes widening “MMMMMM”.

As I devour my fresh blueberry bagel from Claudia (thanks) just thought I would allow you into my head for a moment in time. Now that you’ve been there, now you understand the way I am, right? RIGHT.

Have a great weekend, my peeps!

Mirth & Merriment….

You Aint Seen Nothin' Yet!

I cannot believe the sentence that I am about to write. I honestly am excited about writing it down because it is something I have not been able to say in years…YEARS! But, here goes. I just finished a book in 4 hours! YUP! ME!

I was looking for a shoe in the hurry of the morning madness and opened up a box to find a book that beloved Ma had given me. God, I hope she gave it to me, because if it was a loaner, it is way overdue! Anyway, I threw it to the bed thinking I might give it a thumb through. By the way, I never found the shoe! I am headed to Payless today to replace. I love shoes. It is not as unhealthy as you think. Anyway, back to the story.

Last night, after falling at work and hurting my knee and noticing that I was started to feel congested again and my head hurt all I wanted to do when I came home was sleep, but like that was going to happen! My husband did have pizza waiting for us, thank God. I got the kids clothes and stuff ready for the morning rush and decided to lay down. I looked at the bed and remembered the book. AHH…a book. I was so tired I was sure I would fall asleep 2 pages in, but I would give it my best shot.

I began reading “Mary, Mary” by James Patterson. I like crime stories, especially Patterson’s. I had seen the one’s that had been made into movies “Along Came A Spider” and “Kiss the Girls” and they were great. After 2 Chapters, which are only about 2 pages long kids, I could not stop. It was like having a jar of peanut butter and a spoon. I could not help myself. The main character, once again is Special Agent Alex Cross (Morgan Freeman in the movies mentioned) and he is back to the same old stuff….blood is everywhere and he needs to figure out who is doing it. SPOILER ALERT – He figures it out!

However, when I realized that I had finished the book, looked at the clock and it was 10 minutes to 1:00 am…I realized that what my co-worker Bobby tells me everyday just might be true…I ROCK! Yeah, baby…WOO HOO! I did it. Uh huh….I did it. You didn’t, but I did. Oh yeah! (clearing my throat)

So, yes, I finished a book in one sitting and it felt great. I felt like I could do anything. I was invincible. I wanted to send out a text message to everyone I know telling them that they could achieve all their dreams if they only believe!!!!!

Of course, then at 5:30 this morning, I realized that I should’ve slept!!!!

Mirth & Merriment.

New Kid In Town

I guess with the "hackers" out there doing what they can to steal personal information about individuals, it was only a matter of minutes until I began to get crap about my blog. Please check through my comments. Yeah, that's right. I don't know that person. I don't know that language. But, whatever~ at least somebody is reading it and responding. None of YOU seem to be responding. Perhaps I need to liven it up...are you kidding me? Sometimes I think I already rate a PG 13 on a good day and on the others...watch out!

So, let me discuss some things that are in my head at the moment...none of which, thank God actually concern me or my loved ones.

Amy Fisher. That's right, I said it. Amy Fisher, the girl who actually wanted to bang Joey Buttafucco is in the news, again. Surprise, Surprise, Surprise. (could you hear the Gomer Pyle accent?) So apparently she and her husband made a sex tape (surprise). Then they decided that they were going to divorce (surprise). Then they reconciled (surprise). However, her husband being the Super Genius that he is decided to sell the tape when they were separated (surprise). Amy decided that now that they are back together, rather than bitch slap her husband to death, she would take money and let the tape be sold and distributed (Surprise!). However, now she and her husband are actually PROMOTING THE TAPE! NO BIG SURPRISE? WOW. First of all, I would like to think of myself as a smart woman. What in the world are you doing leaving your husband with the tape? COME ON! That's your stuff hanging out there for whoever he puts in the VCR for. Amy, Amy, Amy. The best quote I have heard about all this is from the former - L.I.L herself. She said she is going to have a hard time explaining this situation to her 2 young children when they are older. HUH? Ya think this might be harder than, oh, I don't know...say, TELLING YOUR KIDS YOU WERE A TEENAGE PROSTITUTE, SLEPT WITH A MAN WHO WAS OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR DAD AND THEN BECAME SO OBSESSED THAT YOU SHOT HIS WIFE AND WENT TO PRISON? I guess she lives in a place I like to call Whack0 Land, right outside of Long Island.

Britney Spears. Yes, on to another train wreck. I feel that I have every right to voice my opinion on Ms. Spears as we have so much in common. We are both female. We both have breasts....ummm.... We both have children. Ok...I guess that's about it. Oh yeah, and that 55 hour marriage she had....well that was the day I married my husband. So, last week she freaked out, wouldn't give the kids back to KFed and then was strapped to a gurney and taken to the hospital. HELLO! Long overdue, if you ask me. She should have been strapped down about 9 months ago. She has now lost all visitation with her boys, which is the truly sad part of this, but not for her...for them. They do need a mom...no matter how long KFed grows his hair, he will always be Daddy. She doesn't want those kids. I am not sure she even knows their names. She did it because she wanted to be a "young mom" and what she has turned into is "psycho mom". If she cared, even one percent about their lives, she would have done everything and I mean, EVERYTHING in her power to get her shit straightened out. No going out. No going out drinking. No going out partying. No going out without panties! No skipping court. No stealing stuff from gas stations. No shaving heads...none of it. She should have been at home being a mother. Even young mothers can do that, Britney. Hell. I have friends who had babies at 16 and 17 and they are still well educated, well spoken, respectful women raising their children to be respectful. The only things that those children are learning from her is how to swipe a lighter at the Arco down the street and where the best tattoo parlor is. That is not a MOM. Now, let me also say that I am not the world's greatest Mom. I have done things that I am not proud of, but I would also lay down my life for the 4 children in my life...and the ones in Kansas and Georgia and Arizona that I have a piece of with me.

So, today with those great Mom's listed above... Entry #2 in My Big Book of Great Ideas is:

A Mom Is Someone Who Does Something Every Minute Of Every Day That Will Make The Lives Of Her Children Better....No Matter What!

Mirth & Merriment!

Celebrate Good Times, Come On!

With yesterday being my Anniversary, which was not celebrated the way I would have liked, but I will keep my fingers crossed for the future, happy times are on my mind. Today is no exception. Today is my husband’s birthday. Yes. We got hitched the day before the anniversary of him coming into the world. At least, he won’t ever forget it, right? Or will he???? Anyway, Happy Day to you, darling dearest heart o’ mine. May this be one of a hundred more birthdays for you. SMOOCH!

I also have parties on my mind as the 2 littlest members of my house are about to hit the big # 3! I know. Take it all in. I’ll wait. If you know me, you know that each year this is a huge deal for me. First we pick a theme and then we RUN WITH IT! Since way back in the day, Rotten Correspondent can vouch for me, I have LOVED doing kids parties.

For the all-important 1st birthday it was a Circus Theme. There were individual bags of cotton candy, popcorn and caramel apples to boot! We had hot dogs wrapped in foil and lots of junk food. There were ball toss games and the cupcakes that I made were all different rainbow colors with ribbons hanging off of them to give the impression that they were balloons. It was a long few weeks leading up to that day and an even LONGER day, but it was awesome!

Last year, we held a Mardi Gras Celebration! That, too was a wonderful adventure. There was green, purple and green EVERYWHERE that something would stick. Everyone got beads, even if they didn’t flash any naked, fleshy parts. We even decorated their beloved Radio Flyer red wagon like a parade float for our Mardi Gras Princesses.

So, this year…with a tighter budget than ever I have opted out of a theme. Ok. Ok. Calm down. The invitations that are being done (by me, of course!) are a little towards the Princess side. There is going to be pink and purple everywhere and crowns on the 2 guests of honor. Go figure. I am still trying to get all the ideas in my head down in some sort of order, which may not happen until their 11th birthday comes ‘round.

That is what I have been working on for the past week. Yes, of course it is time consuming and I will probably have to buy some Nice n Easy twice before the party next month, but it is worth it. They love it and so do I.

Mirth & Merriment!

Vertigo

“The Book of Bright Ideas” that I just finished gave me a Bright Idea of my own. Ok, Ok. Tracy helped. I sent her off the book yesterday so that she can read it because she said she would go and pick it up. So…that is where the bright idea comes in.

If you have a book you want me to read….email me or comment on this Blog and I can get you my address. Also, if you would like me to get you a book that I enjoyed, let me know that, too. That way, we can do a sorta “Sisterhood of the Traveling Books!”

Any thoughts on this?

Mirth & Merriment!

Sixteen Candles

Well, Happy 2008 to all of you. I trust that since you are reading this, that you did not Drive Drunk and had a very safe and happy New Year! I partied like I was 22 again and boy, did I feel it yesterday. I took a nap! I mean, COME ON! Who naps?

I wanted to discuss my resolution made last month. As a reminder…I vowed to read a book every month. Well, that went straight down the shitter! I actually lost the book I was reading. Well, I have not blamed myself totally for that because when you move with boxes and boxes of stuff and little one’s … you are bound to lose something besides your mind and every fingernail. So, I was once again saved by a sibling. Here’s the scoop.

I came home one night after work, about the week before Christmas to find a box for me. I love getting boxes! As a kid, I would love the UPS man because he always brought boxes and boxes of Christmas presents. The box was from my sister, Kim and it came from the same State that all of those childhood memory boxes came from…Texas. I decided to open the box and spread a little Holiday Cheer. Much to my delight, inside were some great coloring books, crayons and books for the girls. They tore into that right away and we made it through with no crayon on the walls….are you knocking on wood? Matthew got a gift card for a bookstore that he is still wondering what to get with it. Get a book, Matt! And I got a t-shirt that my sister made herself and a new book! The T-shirt, first and foremost made me pick up the phone and call some of the girls in my phone who are between 34-44. It is pink, baby pink with a purple heart in the middle of the chest. In fantastically fonted silver script that says “I can’t believe I gave my panties to a geek!” Holy Crap. I laughed until I peed a little….too much? Anyway, I put it on right away and then remembered…OH! I got a book, right? I picked up the book entitled “”The Book Of Bright Ideas” by Sandra Kring. The cover shows a blond 9 year old girl in a ballerina outfit, including tiara and a book tied around her waist. I am not much for blurbs on book covers, but this is on the cover: “A powerful, poignant novel of family, friendship and a summer that will change lives forever.” It sounds like all the Summers I had as a tomboy. I do not remember a summer that didn’t have some kind of impact on me.

About a week later, maybe 3 days, I opened the book for the first time. Little people were no longer running around driving me crazy, so I put on my glasses, got comfy and started to read. What a great book this is! If you haven’t read it or heard of until this, I suggest you get it. It is full of the imagination that as adults, we remember having as children but we just can’t seem to find in our everyday bill-filled lives. There is even a character, Winnalee, that reminds me a lot of myself as a girl. Running around in clothes that nobody else finds fashionable, running barefoot everywhere, believing in what you cannot prove…I love her! I am almost done with it now and I cannot wait to see how it ends.

So, Kimberly Ann…a huge THANK YOU for this gift. It is, by far, one of the best Christmas presents, ever!!!! You are such a blessing to have as a sister.

Be all that as it may, I have decided that each week, no particular day, that I will start my own Book of Bright Ideas. For example from the book: Bright Idea #1- If you take an ugly girl and you dress her up in a pretty pink dress, lacy anklets, and plunk a homemade bow on her head, you’re not going to get a pretty girl. All you’re going to get is an ugly girl in a pretty dress, lacy anklets, with a bow plunked on her head!”

So, my Bright Idea #1 is:
“Just because you remember every single word to every single song-good or bad- that they play during a “flashback weekend” doesn’t mean you had nothing better to do with your time when the songs first came out. It simply means that you paid attention real good!”

Mirth & Merriment…..