My Uterus Is Leaving The Building

This being my last Saturday with a uterus, I decided to make the best of it. My beautiful twins decided to sleep in until 8:00 a.m. - un heard of - so I got a little more shut eye. Mostly, I was wide awake, with my eyes closed thinking about all the "spring cleaning" I wanted to do before my surgery on Monday. I spent some great alone time with "Beana" and when "Piglet" awoke, got to cuddle with her for awhile. I started thinking about the day that I finally got to meet these beautiful girls.

The terrential downpour had hit Southern California. February 05 is still a big one in the record books for rainfall. On February 16th, our third trip to the hospital, I was sure that there were once again going to inject me and make me go back home, put my feet up and wait even longer for my babies to come. I had already been on leave from work since December 1st. I was at 35 weeks and one day and I knew that 35 weeks was a pretty good place to be, delivery-wise. So, we headed out and after 3 or 4 hours after being admitted, they decided that those pleasing pokes with the needles weren't keeping the girls away any longer. I was ready and the CSection had been scheduled for 4:00. YIPP-fin-EEE! It was about time. I mean, I know how girls are and we love to make people wait for the perfection, but give me a break!!

So there we sat, the Comic Book King making all the phone calls and me sitting in anticipation of being cut in half. It was lovely! At 4:00 on the dot they came and got me. My husband, looking very George Clooney like, was dressed in scrubs, complete with that sexy little hair net thingy and booties. I have never seen him look so cute. Forget Justin Timberlake...my HUSBAND brought Sexy Back! They gave me a spinal, which immediately numbed me and I felt GRRRRRREAT! My Doctor, who was about 5'0 tall and maybe 110 lbs., climbed up onto the table that I was laying on and said here's baby a....and yanked out my "beana". Honestly, she looked tired. There was no immediate cry. But, there was also no time for crying. Doctor Skinny was digging in again looking for our little runt. Just one minute later, Piglet was out! Still, no sound. I turned my head to my husband and asked why they weren't crying. He kept telling me, as usual, to relax and shut up! Then....there it was. A DOUBLE CRY! I was elated! I got exactly 5 seconds to look at my daughters before they, and my mister were shuttled away to Nursery.

After 2 hours in recovery and an empty uterus, I was brought back to my room. That is when the fun started. I began vomitting and feeling horrible, but still I had not seen my babies. After about 3 hours of trying to recover, they wheeled in my 2 little monkeys. They were so tiny. One was 4 pounds and the other 5. I remember holding them and thinking that I really do believe in a God that would bring me such miracles. I held them both, taking in everything about them. They were the most precious moments of my life. My daughters!

Now, just 3 days away from a surgery to remove the girls' first "pad", I feel remarkably calm. It is an empty space that is causing me more greif than joy. So, farewell good friend. You gave me 3 beautiful babies, but it is time to go....

Au Revoir!

GOOD PARENT? I say, YES!

This morning at 6:15 a.m. my beautiful daughter "Beana" said "Mama?" I went to get her out of bed and bring her into my room. I did it so that she would not wake up the sleeping angel in the bed next to hers. I sat on my bed, hair still wrapped in a towel after my early morning shower, ready to put on my face at least $70.00 worth of cosmetics. Take away the dark circles, draw on eyebrows, add some color to my cheeks, take away the shine, curl the eyelashes, put on mascara, curl the eyelashes, lip liner, lipstick, gloss...gloss...gloss! WHEW! She is our little Queen. She will greet me at the door when I get home with arms wide open only to grab my purse and run and hide while she destroys everything in it! She is a girly girl...a big girly girl! So, there we sit on my bed while she tried on every lipstick in my box. I will estimate that there are 50 of them. The reds, the pinks, the browns, the gloss...all of them! Yes, all of them were all over her lips. Every time she applied a new color she said "Mirror?" and I would have to show her how pretty she was. She enjoys looking at herself in the mirror...watch out when she turns 13, huh? It was starting to get a bit annoying...only because I was already running late and I had to take big sis home before taking big bro to school at 7:30 and heading to work. As I took another lisptick away from her, I looked down into my open purse to find a tootsie roll pop. My mind wandered for a moment to find any nutritional value that this treat might have. I didn't find one. But, I gave it to her anyway. Bad Parent Alert! Yes, I gave my Queen Bean a tootsie pop for breakfast. What are you going to do about it? It took her mind off destroying my lipsticks and wiping her hands off my white beadspread. I got to blow dry, straighten, gloss...gloss...gloss, brush my teeth and still she was sucking away. I got big sister home, big brother to school and got to work on time! God Bless Sugar!

My question to you Mom's is this...what's the big deal? You've done this right? Right? Please tell me someone out there has done this....hello? Hello? Are you out there?

Sinners...repent! Especially you...

After my last blog, where I voiced my opinion on some delicate subject matter, I received an email response from a "friend" of mine. I put friend in those cute little quotes because we haven't actually spoken in a long time and I am honestly not interested in talking with her. Her email to me requested that I remove her from my blog because she thought that I was not in a spiritual state of mind and that I might need some counseling from someone within my chosen faith! WHAT? So basically, the mere fact that I chose to do a blog, that I voice my opinion, concerns, daily dilemas and quirky statements make me a bad person? That is crap! Whatever I have chosen to believe in are MY beliefs, not yours! I am in no way trying to make anyone into another me...like you could ever be as cool as me! I have a voice and the Constitution states that I can say whatever I like. I do not say things that purposely hurt others, although I do apologize if I do. But, who are you to judge me? There is one....1 who will judge me and I am not dead yet, lady! How dare you treat me like I am on a level beneath you because I do not worship in a building built by men to make money. I worship. I pray. I believe in one God and he is the one I confess to and pray to. He is the one that I turn to when I am struggling...that, and my Mom. But, anyway.

For future reference...I will continue to write anything that I want to on this, MY BLOG! If you choose to delete them or ignore me, that is YOUR RIGHT! I do not know what facial expressions you make when you read what I have written, but do not think for one minute that I will allow any insults made to me based on my beliefs.

Shame on you!

Have A Nice Day!

Honk If You're Horny? Really?

I was picking up my beautiful stepdaughter from her upper-class middle school yesterday. As I pulled up in my car, I parked behind a large Mercedes Benz with several bumper stickers on the back end. The first one was a "W" sticker. Now, since I actually drive a car owned by my mom and I still have a similar sticker, I could not say much. The second sticker said "Proud To Be An American. I Support Our Troops!" Being the daughter of a Marine, I realize what a life in service to your Country means and I, too support our troops! I don't, however, support a war where we are sending soldier after soldier after soldier into a battle that should have been over long ago. They are paying the ultimate sacrifice for Bush's mistakes..their lives. The third bumper sticker said "Thanks Mom For Giving Me Life"- and something about Pro Life scribbled at the bottom. As a woman faced with many life-altering decisions since birth, I can tell you that I am Pro Life as well. I choose to stay alive and for those I know and love to live, too. However, my thought is that if that woman were faced with something horrific, like, gasp...an unwanted pregnancy, she would think long and hard and no bumper sticker would influence her decision. GUARANTEED! For one, she would have to get a bigger Benz, right?

OK so let me lay this out for you. I am a woman! I am the mother of 4! I am a daughter! I am a sister! (Hey, Julie...I'm a sister-in-law, too!) I am a Democrat! I am an American! I am blond, but that changes! I am Pro choice! I believe that Lee Harvey Oswald was a patsy! I believe in Gremlins! I believe in the power of the Grateful Dead! I would choose Harrison Ford over Brad Pitt! I WOULD CHOOSE MY HUSBAND OVER HARRISON FORD! I believe that my brother is the smartest man I know! I believe that my brother is the geekiest man I know! I believe that my husband comes in a very close second! I do not stop at all Yard Sales! I do not believe that I should ride a Cowboy to save a Horse! I believe in me! I believe that my children are funnier than some of the things on TV! And here..."I believe that words should be used as tools of communication, not as a substitute for action!"
(For those of who you who don't have the same opinion as me, get your own blog!!!!)

I guess I am saying this to save me from having to buy any bumper stickers.

How Good Are The Good Girls?

Those of us who heard that we should be "good girls" and wait until marriage for sex know all too well now what it means to truly be "good girls". However, most of us...and I am talking to you...didn't last very long. Yes, I will admit that I had sex before marriage. Hard to deny with my 3 year old son in all of my wedding photos. But, enough about me. I cannot think of one single woman, or man for that matter, who married the first person they ever did the dirty with. Can you? I can also honestly say that I would NOT have married the first man that I was ever with, mostly because at 16- even though you practice writing your married name to this great love of your life, relationships at 16 fall apart. And they fall hard! Now, I find myself the mother to 3 girls (12 and the two that are 2) and my son (6 going on 30) and wonder how long they will wait. If you are listening girls...wait! WAIT! WAIT! Not until marriage, because I don't think that is a rational goal. Just wait until your old enough to be out on your own, buying the things you want for yourself and living a life where your freedom is your responsibility. Don't sneak around behind our backs. We did that to our parents and trust us, we will know! Everything you are thinking of doing, we all did before you and some of us were lucky enough to get away with it. Some of us weren't smart enough to realize that the parental units knew those were pillows under our covers! Sorry, Mom!

So here is the bottom line, according to me. Wait until you are ready. Then, when you are ready, wait at least 2 more years. Then, if you are still in the same relationship, wait 6 more months. Got it? I mean, the world is constantly spinning (want the exact speed, ask my brother!) and eventually you are going to fall on top of somebody! Just make it somebody that you love.

Ciao for now.

PS - Did I mention that at 36 and having been sexual for over half of my life (do the math, pervert!) I realize that sex is getting better! Yes, better!

How Much Acid Do You Have To Drop...

What is it all about...tell me!

On the first part of the journey
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz
And the sky with no clouds
The heat was hot and the ground was dry
But the air was full of sound
Ive been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
cause there aint no one for to give you no painLa, la ...
After two days in the desert sun
My skin began to turn red
After three days in the desert fun
I was looking at a river bed
And the story it told of a river that flowed
Made me sad to think it was dead
You see Ive been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
cause there aint no one for to give you no painLa, la ...
After nine days I let the horse run free
cause the desert had turned to sea
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
The ocean is a desert with its life underground
And a perfect disguise above
Under the cities lies a heart made of ground
But the humans will give no love
You see Ive been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
cause there aint no one for to give you no painLa, la ...

INSANE USE OF BRAIN SPACE

So we obviously have parts of our brain that, when we are born, are either empty or like a rewriteable CD. That is my only explanation on how I can remember the useless information that is stored in my head! Move over, Voices!

"Putting on the Ritz" by Taco came onto the radio and my thoughts wandered to my little sister and the lyric-plentiful 80's. Who is this Taco and why would he do this song, of all remakes to do? An even better question, why do I remember that it was this suave man named after one of my favorite mexican foods (not chillaquilles!) that sang this song? GEEZ! How about the fact that I remember the first and last names of ALL the members of Duran Duran and even a few of their birthdays? Why is it that anytime a sibling or friend has a question that starts "Remember that movie with her and him and they go the friends house and she says "The Date? Like the Cow or the Chicken?" that I can tell you that the her is Janeane Garoffolo, the him is Randy Quaid, the friend is Matthew Modine and the movie is "Bye, Bye Love". SOMEBODY EXPLAIN IT TO ME!

I know...more useless information for your brain to take in. Just take a deep breath and join me in the abyss!!!

Ciao for Now!

Ahh..Lack of Sleep!

Isn't it a little slice of heaven to be 25 and stay out until the cliched "closing time" and fall into bed... world spinning? I may be 36 years old, but I can still use my elderly mind to remember those days...mornings....nights? Whatever! The thing is, there are no worries when you are a young whipper-snapper and go to bed at 3:00 a.m and have to be at your ho-hum job 4 hours later. That is what Starbucks is for!

Fast Forward to now! There is not enough triple shot, venti cafe lattes in the world to wake me up today! A wide-awake toddler at 3:00 a.m. is never a good thing! No matter what time zone you are in or all that daylight savings crap! OK? Although I did have extra time to do my hair this morning, I have now noticed that I am wearing a shirt that you can semi-see through with a black bra. Now, this was a good look when I was a Madonna-wannabe, but I'm a Mom now, people!!! I also have some sort of smudge on my black capri pants, which I can only describe as a bluish mucus...hopefully, a chewed up gummy bear! Pray with me now...chewed up gummy! Chewed up gummy!

So, youngsters...take a lesson from the blue eyed old lady here! Sleep while you can! For the time will come when you, too will have dark circles under your eyes and your Jimmy Choo shoes will just look painful!

Ciao for Now!

Lavendar Bridesmaid Dress Revisited!

OK. Right back at ya! Did you notice that I chose to write my blog in purple....not exactly my favorite color...but still...The Memories!

So, I am doing exactly what the third born child should do...copy everything that the older sib's do...even the in-lawed one's!

SIGH....as for who I am, give me a break! If I knew that I wouldn't be medicating myself to control the voices in my head! I am a wife, which makes being a little sister look like being on vacation in the Bahamas (RIP ANNA NICOLE!). Just kidding! After 7 years together...what more could I ask for? A new car, perhaps?

I am a Mother of 4...two of those are now 2...now do you see why I am medicated? Where are those pills? I am a daughter to a strong mother and charming father (not the actual sperm donor, by the way). I am a sister....to a big brother, a big sister and a little sister...all of whom survived our childhood with flying colors! Thank God!

So, I will write down all of my thoughts and innermost feelings and you Married Moms can either delete me with the whole "been there, done that crap!" or for my Singled Gals..read on and laugh while you sit in front of your 'puter with your Cookies n Cream ice cream while shopping online for your Manolo's. You too will have stretch marks, girls! Fear not!

Ciao for Now!