Guilty

I look to the weekend with no anticipation at all. If I had the choice, I would curl up in bed with my kids and chill out. No worrries. No complaining. But, I cannot do that because I have no bed. So this weekend, I am off to finalize a move out date. I must leave my parents house, not just because I can no longer stand the guilt of being there. Anthony said it best "We all seem to have worn out our welcome everywhere!" I am grateful to my folks and to his grandmother for allowing us to intrude and destroy their calm existence for as long as we have. I do not think that my relationship with my Mom will be the same once I leave and I don't think that's a good thing. I don't feel comfortable having the babies with me at my mom's because they are so loud and so ALL OVER THE PLACE and she does deserve some peace in her life. But, they are my babies and the only time I get to see them is on the weekends, so I will have to find a place where we can all be together without conflicts of any kind. Wish us luck.

I also have a 7 year old boy birthday party to get Matthew to on Saturday, which he is thrilled about and I am wishing I could just drop him off and pick him up later. Matt needs more friends that he can just hang out with. He can't just play with his sisters forever! I would also like to get to know the parents of his friends so that sleepovers and out of school events can be planned. I think that would be great. He definitely could use the time away from me. Having me around him constantly without another guy around is taking its toll. He will recover, he is stronger than I think.

I am also preparing for an upcoming birthday that will most likely not involve any candles. The surgery that I have been waiting for authorization on is finally happening...on my birthday! I guess I am fine with that. To start a new year of life without one problem will be a great relief...bring on the 2 million other problems I have. It looks to be a very hectic two weeks as I find a place to live and move and have surgery and work and celebrate Thanksgiving and work and recover.

So, that is it. Does anyone have any great plans? Be safe.

Mirth & Merriment.