Let It Be

Hi everyone. I know, I know…it’s been quite awhile since I was able to pick myself up, crack my knuckles and start writing. Truly, I have been busy. HONEST! If you could see my right now, I am holding up the Boy Scout salute. Anyway, here I am…take it or leave it. I cannot make the promise that I will write tomorrow or the next day, but for today I am here…just me…naked for the whole world to see…well, not really naked…but use your imagination.

Ok, people so since I wrote last there have been some developments and issues. I cannot put them in chronological order, but to the best of my almost-37 year old memory…here goes.

My Marriage. Ahh..Listen to the sound of that. Yes, I am still married. Still very much in love with my husband and things seem to be moving in the right direction. By this time next month, when I am 37, we will be with our children in a place of our own. It may be small and cheap, but it will be where I can come home to my entire family and know that we are all together. That is what I crave the most. Having my girls away from me for days at a time is ridiculous torture, to the say the least. For the past 2 weeks, I have seen them every day and that is as it should be. My husband has stopped drinking. I know, it is almost unfathomable…but true. I cannot be more proud…I am his biggest fan in this aspect of his life. He has grown and realized that there is nothing more important that the life that we have built together. I love him more everyday for making one of the best and crucial decisions in life.

My Children. Matthew is having issues. To those of you about to read this, I salute you, but please reserve your laughter because this is a serious matter. When I was at the Dr…I will explain in the next paragraph…we got the call from his teacher sending her condolences to us. When we were dumbstruck as to what she was talking about she stated that my son, my moon, my stars…told her that he could not do homework because his little sister had died from lung cancer on Saturday. I cried. I cried and then I got angry. I have lied in my lifetime and I have made up some doozies, but this really bothers me. Why did it have to be the death of one of my children? My God! I was furious. How dare this person, who I went down into the valley of the shadows in the attempt to bring him in this world, say something that is so repulsive! Having two sisters come into his life was rough. We could all see it. I guess we all know now that his need for extra attention is taking a turn in a direction that I do not want to discuss. I will, because I do not think his father thinks this is an option, be taking him to a counselor tomorrow to discuss his issues. Please keep him in your thoughts as I am certain that this is not an easy time for him, either. His life has been turned upside down and the absence of his father has obviously affected him more than we thought it might. I do feel like a failure as a Mom because I did not see it coming. I did not notice that my son was feeling lonely and ignored. I am sorry, Jakers! Things will get better. I can see the light at the end of this crazy tunnel…see it? As for the girls, Bean has been in and out of the dr about 8 times in a month. UTI's and Fevers and constipation and thank GOD it is all under control! Let's keep our fingers crossed....

My Health. HA! Health is an understatement when discussing how I am feeling. I went into my beloved doctor with a list of ailments and I am pretty sure she almost didn’t believe me. CONTENT ADVISORY. The following statements may not be suitable for young eyes or those of men who get grossed out easily. After having a supracervical, laparoscopic hysterectomy, I was still bleeding once a month, sometimes twice. Right! That’s right! No uterus, but a period..of sorts. Well, come to find out that because they left my cervix behind (poor cervix!) that is what is causing the problem. There are polyps on my cervix and they are running tests to determine what we can do stop this. One down. Next, I mentioned my weight issue. I have ALWAYS had a weight problem, even in High School when I was a cute, perky size 9, I thought I was huge. Since the girls were born, the weight just keeps coming and coming. I cannot do anything to lose weight. She was bothered by this, 4 vials of blood later, she is testing me for everything under the sun. Two down. Migraine headaches…well, I take medication for headaches everyday and much to my surprise my dr. told me, are you ready for this, which is not normal. SHUT UP. I am doing something that is not normal? WHAT? Anyway, she gave me a prescription for a medication that she said, and I am quoting “has this horrible side effect of weight loss!” DING! Loving my doctor right about ….. NOW! Three down. After explaining 4 other issues that I will not bore you with, I walked out with 5 prescriptions and a cotton ball taped to the back of my hand. I will have some results and we can determine how to cure my fatheadacheditchytirednosexdrivewhatsoever symptoms.

So, are we having fun yet? Thanks for listening and thanks for the many requests to write more. I promise to do what I can to take a moment everyday and tell you all the trials and tribulations of just being….ME

Mirth & Merriment…..