Yesterday

I know that some of you are saying to yourselves "is it really her?" or "I thought she was dead!" or my personal favorite "Who?" Well trust me, there for awhile I was saying that too...and about myself. I guess I figured why write something when nothing you do is worth putting on to paper...or in this case, hitting the send key. I would call it some sort of writers block, although I don't consider myself a writer. Poe. Dickens. Parker. Thoreau. Whitman. Angelou. Now, those are writers. And, if you have ever had the pleasure of reading my sisters blog, she too can write her ass off! But, I just say what I think and sometimes I don't think before I say it. But, yes, I finally think that I am in a solid state of mind to actually allow you in...if you dare.

In July, I was fired from my job at a place that I called home. After 6 and a half years, I felt abandoned, abused, raped and left naked on the street with not so much as a "thanks". I was given no reason, and for reasons of my own, I can't discuss all the details, but I do not feel that I was treated fairly. I feel that like the Radiohead song "Kharma Police" - what goes around comes around. I can believe in that. I live for it.

However, I am now working at a job that I adore. The people are great, the benefits are super, the hours...well, took some getting used to, but it's a real good fit. Hell! They give out 25 lbs of candy to every single employee for Halloween, Christmas and Valentine's Day. Hello! Chocolate! I also have already won a Starbucks gift card, gotten a "pat on the back" certificate from the General Manager and won the Halloween costume contest which was a $50 gift card. Sweet. I have learned so much already, but everyday brings new challenges and I can't wait to see what tomorrow holds for me.

And speaking of learning, I have learned more about myself in the past 4 months than I have in my almost 38 years. I learned that I can make a meal out of anything...even chips and tuna! That I can go without coloring my hair and learn to part my hair so nobody can see it! That my children and family love me even when I am flat broke! Those of you who have called or emailed or helped me out in anyway, I cannot find words to describe how much I love you all. You are what held my head up when I couldn't do it myself. When I couldn't find a reason to smile and Aliza came up to me and said "Knock, Knock" and I said "Who's there?" and she screamed "DOG CRAP!" and ran away...she has no idea how proud and horrified I was. You all have made me a better person. I am grateful beyond thought and word.

Things have changed and change is coming. I like to think that change is good. That change happens for a reason and that there is a purpose to every last, wretched, happy event that life brings. I am focusing on positive things to come.

My kids are amazing, as if you had to ask. I will try and post some new pics soon. Growing like weeds. Oni turned 14, started high school, got her first boyfriend and then ditched class for the first time. AHH....memories. Matt hit the big 8 and thinks he wants to be Tony Hawk. That is why we have health insurance, right? The girls are about to be 4, if you can believe it, which I can't. They make me smile and scream everyday. What blessings I have!

So, that is about it. Other things have happened, but who cares, right? I am living in today...this moment. Spaghetti is cooking, the kids are watching cartoons, the house is clean and I have 4 loads of laundry that need to be done.

Paradise.

Ciao for Now...but until we meet again...Mirth & Merriment!