Celibacy is an art form!

Will he ever want to have sex with me again? I stay up at night wondering, our after our 2 week sabbatical, if he will even want me? I find it highly doubtful...but, let's think it over.

I mean let's just start from the beginning....a very fine place to start. (Get it, Monkey??)

When our son was born, it was not pretty. A miracle, yes! A nice view...hell no! He saw things happen to my body that give me nightmares. Then, he had to witness a c-section, which I will explain like this. They sliced me open, took everything inside me - out - including both babies and then replaced it all. That was lovely. He still says "hey, ya know I think I saw what your stomach looked like!" every once in awhile to make me feel he deserves just a little more worship. Then, he had to help me take care of my recovery from said surgery. Helping me shower and use the bathroom...if only there was a video camera around. He still wouldn't go to the store to buy tampons, but he could help with that? Ridiculous! Cut to today...cut, funny! Cut. Anyway, we changed the dressing on my 3 beautiful incisions. 3 incisions for the 3 children, nope. Just a coincidence. The first one, which is on my left side (your right) is completely closed and looks like there was never a slice made. The second, which is right on my belly button is revolting! It looks like I have 3 belly buttons now and none of them are bare-midriff sexy. As if! The third incision, which is on my right side (again, your left) is slightly open and a little oozy. Now, if it isn't devotion that he has to endure all of this plus throw in the years of horrible month-long periods and everything else that we have been through, then I don't know what is. Would Brad do all of this for Angelina? I think not!

Thank you, King of Comics for everything that you do for me. I love you, babe!

PS - It can't ALL be about him! Did I mention the 17 hours of labor with our son and the excruciating pain? Did I mention how horrible my recovery from my c-section was? Or that I didn't get to see my babies for HOURS while he got to bathe and feed them and show them off to all the visitors? Damn him! Damn all men! Damn! Damn!

Ok. I'm good now. Thank you honey! And as for whether or not he will ever want to have sex with me again. Be real! He's a man! He wants sex from anyone...he just gets it from me!