Yesterday

I know that some of you are saying to yourselves "is it really her?" or "I thought she was dead!" or my personal favorite "Who?" Well trust me, there for awhile I was saying that too...and about myself. I guess I figured why write something when nothing you do is worth putting on to paper...or in this case, hitting the send key. I would call it some sort of writers block, although I don't consider myself a writer. Poe. Dickens. Parker. Thoreau. Whitman. Angelou. Now, those are writers. And, if you have ever had the pleasure of reading my sisters blog, she too can write her ass off! But, I just say what I think and sometimes I don't think before I say it. But, yes, I finally think that I am in a solid state of mind to actually allow you in...if you dare.

In July, I was fired from my job at a place that I called home. After 6 and a half years, I felt abandoned, abused, raped and left naked on the street with not so much as a "thanks". I was given no reason, and for reasons of my own, I can't discuss all the details, but I do not feel that I was treated fairly. I feel that like the Radiohead song "Kharma Police" - what goes around comes around. I can believe in that. I live for it.

However, I am now working at a job that I adore. The people are great, the benefits are super, the hours...well, took some getting used to, but it's a real good fit. Hell! They give out 25 lbs of candy to every single employee for Halloween, Christmas and Valentine's Day. Hello! Chocolate! I also have already won a Starbucks gift card, gotten a "pat on the back" certificate from the General Manager and won the Halloween costume contest which was a $50 gift card. Sweet. I have learned so much already, but everyday brings new challenges and I can't wait to see what tomorrow holds for me.

And speaking of learning, I have learned more about myself in the past 4 months than I have in my almost 38 years. I learned that I can make a meal out of anything...even chips and tuna! That I can go without coloring my hair and learn to part my hair so nobody can see it! That my children and family love me even when I am flat broke! Those of you who have called or emailed or helped me out in anyway, I cannot find words to describe how much I love you all. You are what held my head up when I couldn't do it myself. When I couldn't find a reason to smile and Aliza came up to me and said "Knock, Knock" and I said "Who's there?" and she screamed "DOG CRAP!" and ran away...she has no idea how proud and horrified I was. You all have made me a better person. I am grateful beyond thought and word.

Things have changed and change is coming. I like to think that change is good. That change happens for a reason and that there is a purpose to every last, wretched, happy event that life brings. I am focusing on positive things to come.

My kids are amazing, as if you had to ask. I will try and post some new pics soon. Growing like weeds. Oni turned 14, started high school, got her first boyfriend and then ditched class for the first time. AHH....memories. Matt hit the big 8 and thinks he wants to be Tony Hawk. That is why we have health insurance, right? The girls are about to be 4, if you can believe it, which I can't. They make me smile and scream everyday. What blessings I have!

So, that is about it. Other things have happened, but who cares, right? I am living in today...this moment. Spaghetti is cooking, the kids are watching cartoons, the house is clean and I have 4 loads of laundry that need to be done.

Paradise.

Ciao for Now...but until we meet again...Mirth & Merriment!

Being With You

As I sit here, I feel that I have so much to say, but cannot seem to put into words what exactly I am feeling. I mean, tons has happened since the last time I was able to sit and write. Some good, some bad, some I probably shouldn't write about, but I just might.

My visit with my sister and family went well. Although I must admit that I wanted desperately for her to stay longer and just as desperate, I wanted more money to be able to do things with them. My children all fell madly in love with their cousins, big surprise, I know. In fact, our little Piglet has replaced me as her best friend. Imagine? How dare....no. Wait. She's just 3. Bailee is her new best friend and she keeps saying things like "Remember my best friend Billy (she can't quite say Bailee!) ? It's very cute.

Our trip to Disneyland rocked! We had so much fun and did so much that I tried to think what could have topped it, but nothing could. It was awesome. Did I mention that my biggest girl Bean rode on Space Mountain? Yup. You heard me right. She made it over the height requirement (something piglet can't do just yet) and screamed "woo hoo" the entire ride. Unbelievable. I kept panicking and trying my best to scream while traveling way too fast for my age...."hold on to her, Anthony!" When I got off the ride, Matthew thought the ride was awesome and Athena looked at me and said "Can we go again now?" Yeah, right. She is quite fearless...I am dreading each new experience with her.

Our children also have been learning to swim, something Matthew needed desperately. The girls wear their life vests and jump right in. My son (& moon & stars) is doing the same now. I am so proud. I hope that all of them learn to love, not fear the water. I see it in his eyes that he wants to be a swimmer. Chip of the old, grey block, huh? It could be worse. We watched "The Sandlot" together and he also wants to start playing baseball. Yeah! Ok! NAH! I cannot see him signing up with other 8 year old's who have been playing since birth. They are gonna kill him. I will wait and see if he changes his mind, but for now he is a swimmer with a minor interest in the ball and bat game. Go figure. I hate baseball.

Work has been miserable, to say the very, very VERY least. I cannot say that I don't deserve the treatment that I am getting, but it seems that I am also not the only one who should be taking the blame for this stuff. I do not want to get into it until the time is right, but I have 2 words for you.....Monster.com!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have not been feeling my best. There are things happening with me that I do not think should be, at least not NOW! I will try and ask for a few hours off to go back to the Dr., but given Adolf's mood lately, don't think that will happen anytime soon.

Happy Belated Birthday to the Best Mom in the World...mine! She shares the day with Ringo Starr, who by the way, doesn't look too good for his ripe old age! He he he! She was sick for her big day, which is a bummer....trust me. She has given me everything....life. Her time. Her love. Her money. Her heart and her soul....and her uncanny attention to details. LOVE YA, Ma!

So there you have it. I don't have much to say and a fuel-riddled rant is not what you want to hear right now, I am sure. Take care.....

Mirth & Merriment...
Monster.com???!??!?!?!?!?!?

We Will Rock You

For those of you who asked, the graduation was beautiful and emotional. Here are our "Tulips" (that is the name of their new class)

Miss Aliza Claire

Miss Athena Elise

You Dropped A Bomb On Me

From the news this morning, and no...not the weird & wacky section...

A pact made by a group of teens to get pregnant and raise their babies together is at least partly behind a sudden spike in pregnancies at Gloucester High School, school officials said.

WHAT? In the report it says that the average is 4 pregnancies per school year, which I think is awful enough, but apparently there are now 17 pregnant teenage girls running around the school. What I picture is them running around showing off their cute maternity clothes and saying things like "I can't wait to have this baby, it's going to be so cute!".

GROW THE F*** UP, GIRLS! I say girls because to call you ladies who would be against my better judgement, and God knows I always try to use that. It didn't give ages, but HS students are typically 14-18. Granted, I had sex while I was in high school, but never in a million years would I have been EXCITED about getting pregnant then, let alone do it on PURPOSE. It is not fun and games, girls. There's that "g" word again. It has nothing to do with the baby being cute, because let's face it all babies are cute, with the extreme exception of my nephews newborn picture...not an image I will soon forget. It has to do with being responsible. Wow! Did I actually say that? I'm becoming my mother. I delivered my son 6 weeks before I turned 30. I had helped take care of several nephews and a niece and had changed plenty of diapers, woken up early, bathed and fed lots of babies, but nothing quite prepares you for your own little wonder coming into the world. Nothing. I was not ready at all. Getting 2-3 hours sleep per day, on a good day, not being able to shower, not having energy to eat even though you are starving and still trying to deal with any body-trauma from the actual birth. I was miserable. Yes, my only true consolation was this miracle that we had created and seeing him do new things every minute of every hour of every day.

I remember an article in the LA Times once that said that girlfriends of gang members were getting preganant, as young as 12 and 13 so that, in the event that their boyfriends were killed int he line of "duty" they would have a part of him with them always. WHAT? I am sorry that these young men chose a lifestyle that would leave them dead at 15, but so be it. That is their choice. Why screw up your own life for a boy (again, not really men, right?) who didn't care enough about you to choose to LIVE!

I have known plenty of girls who had babies in high school or right out of high school and they have all turned out to be really great mothers. But, I am sure that if they had it to do over again, they would have waited. I am not saying they regret their children, just the life that they had to give up.

Let me say this, though. God Bless the parents of these ignorant girls. They are going to have to raise babies all over again. Because, like most things in life, when the going gets tough, the parents take over. I am sure that these girls are living at home, probably without a job and probably not with an excited boyfriend about his impending father status. The Grandparents will surely help out, but I hope that they don't take over. I hope that each one of these girls has to get up all night long. I hope their hair has to go up into tangled ponytails because it hasn't been washed in 3 days and I hope they get hemorrhoids the size of Toledo. I'm not being mean, but if they want to experience motherhood then have it all! Breastfeed until your nipples bleed and lose your bladder control. HAVE IT ALL!

To all of who already Have It All....and to those women who haven't quite gotten there yet...cheers to us. Cheers to those of us who have lived through the newborn phase and are drinking more wine everyday to prepare for teenagers. Cheers to those who not only survived babies and teenagers, but have grand kids to look forward to. Cheers to those who are waiting until they are "ready" even though you never will be. CHEERS!

Mirth & Merriment....

Ball and Chain

From the title, I can assume that you think that I will start ranting and ravings about my Mr. but I am sorry to disappoint. It is simply the song that is playing. And I love it!!!!

Today is the girls' graduation, of sorts, from daycare to Pre-K. When I heard that they were going to be in the graduation ceremony, I was shocked. They started pre-school just a few short months ago and my, how they have grown!

Aliza is a talker. Wonder where she gets it from...let me introduce myself again. She sings everything. Her favorite songs are "You Are My Sunshine" and "Irreplaceable". Yes, Beyonce. It's funny to hear her sing the lyrics as she is the tiniest little princess ever. TINY. We had to get her new shoes for her big day today and while we knew Athena was a size 9-91/2, Aliza fit just right into a size 7. Wow. She is petite and kind and always says "Bless You" when someone sneezes. She always asks me how my day was and then tells me, without a second thought...no matter what my response..."that's good". She loves to play with her big brother and all his Super Hero toys, something I can't even enjoy. She is goofy and funny and her laugh is the best part of my day.

Athena is, well, without sounding mean, a big girl. She looks like she is a Kindergartner already. No way I can sneak her in to Disneyland as under 3...no way. Damn! She is definitely a Daddy's girl. When I say "I love you, Bean" her response is typically "I love my daddy and my mommy" or just that she loves Daddy. Wow. I guess it is starting already. She loves to dance and is obsessed with playing dress up. She must wear high heels and panties around the house and shake her booty...it is sort of her calling. As long as there is no pole around, I'm good. She is fearless and is always jumping off of things (bed, couch, desk...you name it) and likewise always getting hurt. But, still she is fun to watch.

So, today I will watch as they take another first step...in a life that will be full of them. I promise not to cry..................much.

Mirth & Merriment....

Crazy On You!

I know what you're thinking....I do. God, she seems oddly familiar. Like an old book that I was SO in to, but then lost track of where it went in the hands of the filthy toddler you were chasing around the house trying to get them into a bath. Like an old friend that, when it came to time, signed a yearbook "BFF" but haven't spoken to them since that day. Well, the bitch is back and I felt that it was time for me to do what I do best...bitch...complain..rant...and give you a little something to laugh at while it remains 100 degrees outside. I could try and pick up where I left off but that is pointless for several reasons. One- too much has happened and Two- I'm just not in the mood. Here are some of the high and low points of the past few MONTHS...

I attended 2 weddings, one day apart. Both were beautiful and both of these couples I wish nothing but the best of everything to. My two babies were flower girls at one wedding, an honor that I will cherish always. And speaking of weddings, California is now granting marriage licenses to same sex couples. Well, Congratulations...now you can experience the dramatic bullshit that is marriage. I know, I know...it's not all crap, sometimes it is wonderful....but then you get out of bed and have to pay bills and find grocery money. Am I right?

Hillary Clinton was running for President. Now, as you know, I am a Democrat and a woman. Yes, I know...both hard to believe, but true nonetheless. However, I am not sure that she is the person that I would have voted for. I had visions that I would be casting my vote while some bra-burning feminist was next to me and when they saw my finger going to find OBAMA, they would keep slapping my hand until I went back up to the C's before puncturing the chad. I wouldn't vote for her just because we both have vagina's...and certainly not just because she is a Democrat. Maybe it is just that every time I see her, all I can think of is Monica blowing her hubby in the Oval Office...nice. I will wait until after election day to let you know what my ballot says.

I went to the graduation of my beautiful, smart, funny and giggly 13 year old. I am so proud. She has overcome quite a bit of drama in her life and the whole time keeping her A's and B's in check. I wish that I could take the credit for any of it, but I can't. I have nothing to do with the woman she is becoming. Her mother has done an outstanding job at making sure that her self esteem remains high, something that as a former 13 year old girl, I wish I had then. Not that my mother didn't always tell me I was beautiful, but believing it for yourself is a different animal completely.

I am also attending, tomorrow, the graduation to Pre-K of my 3 year old girls. WHAT? The teacher told me last week that they are ready to move up already. They count to 40 or so, know all the letters, shapes, colors, etc... and Aliza is even learning how to read. I am blown away. Wasn't it just yesterday that I was lying on a table, having icky-sticky goo poured on my Orca the Killer Whale tummy and watching them move around inside me? It just doesn't seem possible. But, it is. Time has not stopped...although we all at one point or another pray that it would.

My son is also leaving 2nd grade behind and preparing for 3rd grade. He has even asked me what shoes we will buy him for 3rd grade. Whatever...we have a whole summer for his likes and dislikes to change. He is still brilliant and, at Open House, his teacher let us know that he is now doing some 4th Grade Math and 6th Grade Reading. In fact, at the Book Fair, he chose the Narnia set of books. Yes, that's right. I haven't even read all of those yet...but he has started. In the car, it is quite peaceful (yes, I said peaceful) to look over and see him reading a book. He looks excited about it. He loves to close it and then talk to me about what he just read. He is getting it and I am in awe of him. I always have been.

My sister, who I have not seen since 1989 is coming for a visit next week. There was a falling out back then and things were left on a sour note. However, since then we have talked and laughed and I have cried a lot for the horrible things that I did and said...and we are back to the road of being great friends. Along with her, her husband and 2 children are coming. I will be meeting my 2 nieces on Monday and I can't hardly wait. I am so excited. We will be doing some trips with our kids...Disneyland and other destinations of great fun and great expense. Still, I am anxious to see her again. My apartment is not completely ready. They will be residing with me for awhile and they are in for a big shock. First, the tv broke when we moved. There is no couch, only a few chairs. I am trying to get a dining room table from my Mom's back over to my place and make sure that the toilet paper holder and bath towel bar, both broken by the Genius in the former paragraph, are fixed. I should also get some food in the house, right? Whatever. Still, there is time....less than a week, but I will reach into the closet, put on that Wonder Woman costume and get it done.

My parents were robbed. Someone came in, during the daytime, and stole all of my mother's jewelry, cameras and other items. I was sick. Literally, I had stayed home sick and rushed over there when she called me. To think that someone came into my childhood home, without permission, went through their personal things and then took them....unacceptable. I wish that they were reading this. I believe in Kismet....I believe in Kharma....and not just the Chameleons, either. What goes around comes around...I have lived through it...will you?

My brother and his wife are going to be officially divorced soon. I am sad. Enough said.

My nephew, my first born nephew, is currently at Army boot camp. I am very proud of him for being mature enough to make the decision to serve his Country...OUR COUNTRY! The next time you see a service man or woman, tell them you are proud. Whether or not you believe that we should be in this war or not, they are protecting our honor. They are the one's fighting for us. I am happy he is on my side.

Ok. My hands are tired. I think that is it for now. I will try and keep this thing up, but with things currently all over the place and my head about the same, I am not sure I can promise you anything. I will however make this simple promise...I will talk to you again. For I do not write this Blog for me....I mean, I know how it ends. I write so that I can somehow release what is inside me without more medication. I write so that I can stir emotions...good or bad. Hell, if you get pissed off at me for saying something bad about President Bush, then so be it. I am free to say what I like here...I am safe here. Hidden away in my blogging bunker where the boogeyman cannot find me. So read it or don't. It is up to you because you can do what you want to, just the same. But, just so you know, I'm glad that someone is reading this. :)

After all...what would you do without me, right?

Mirth & Merriment...as always.

I'm Alive!

I am in a great mood. I am not sure why because as I ponder the weekend without money and less food in the house than a supermodel can even eat, I should be miserable. But, for some reason Casual Friday always lightens my spirits. I was told once that dressing up can make you feel more successful and able to take pride in yourself and your work. However, converse and jeans are what works for me. Being able to wear a concert t-shirt to work is HEAVEN! So, because I am in a great mood, I couldn’t think of one Daily Dose to give you…I thought of 3. I can’t decide, so I am going to make this “readers choice”. You pick your top 3 of one of the following subjects and let me have it.

Most Misunderstood Song Lyric
My Top Prize goes to “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” by AC/DC. As a child, I remember rocking out to this song and thinking that the title was “Dirty Deeds Dungeon Chief”. Yes, I do realize that it doesn’t make any sense, but I was 10, ok? Deal with it.

Favorite Line From A Movie
There are so many eighties Molly Ringwald movies that I could throw at you, but that has been done. I am, of course a grown up now, with real life movies that I prefer. However, just so you know if “16 Candles” is on, I watch it…every time! From the film “Little Children” starring Kate Winslet and the hot, hot, hot Patrick Wilson, Kate’s character is talking about the book “Madame Bovary”:

“No, no, it's not the cheating. It's the hunger.
The hunger for an alternative, and the refusal to accept a life of unhappiness.”

Favorite Breakfast Food
I love breakfast and as long as there is something in the house that I can eat or GOD WILLING, we go out to breakfast, I am a happy fat-girl! Let me tell you that I haven’t gone out to breakfast in over a year. There are categories that breakfast is broken down into: Fast Food, Homemade and Going Out. Here are some of my choices:

Fast Food- The blueberry French toast sticks at Jack in the Box are my thing. I don’t even use syrup. It’s delicious. I also like any breakfast sandwich from Jack.

Homemade- I make some killer Blueberry Pancakes. The kids love them and I can eat 4 or 5 of them myself.

Going Out- Any combo of eggs, potatoes, meat, salsa, cheese…onions! You get me? Scrambler or whatever you want to call it…just remember to call me for breakfast!

Mirth & Merriment. God! Now, I’m hungry!

Come On, Eileen!

I was never a cheerleader in High School. Never! With that being said I can now say to the world that I am the proud parent of a Junior Varsity High School Cheerleader for the next school year. I am honestly thrilled for her.

I remember starting HS and being scared to death and I was surrounded by a small circle of dorky friends who would venture into the unknown with me. I also remember the cheerleaders of the time. All blond and beautiful and tan and infinitely snobbish. They were not friends with the likes of me because I did not shop at Judy’s or Windsor for my clothes. On the outside, I was not what would have fit in with their crowd. I was a huge nerd. I had braces. Not just braces like they have today, but with an entire ring of metal that fit around each tooth, with a lovely track on each one, with connecting wire. My hair was a mess; naturally wavy and I couldn’t find a damned thing to do with it. I also always wore it short because I was a tomboy and only girly-girls had time to do their hair…enter my sister! I took up swimming, which I was surprisingly good at. I even made Varsity my Freshman year. That made my year! However, being a flat-chested teenage girl is one thing, but to be all that in a bathing suit is quite a different story.

Throughout HS, I did progress- but really not too much. I swam for 3 great years and won medals and titles. I acted in lots of productions and even directed a few. I got a chance to be in the show choir, which I had dreamt of since I was a little girl. I fell in love. I lost my virginity. I had my heart broken. I went to the Prom. I cheated on a boyfriend. I got into fights. I got my ass kicked. I made the most amazing friends. I was nominated for Prom Queen. I went to see U2 for my 16th birthday. I lived. I really, really did.

But, the cheerleaders. They were a different story. They were perfect on the outside, but at the Prom I recall seeing a side of them that was no magazine cover. They were underage drunks with huge problems and issues. They wore so much makeup that they actually changed the structure of their faces. They weren’t pretty…on the inside or out. They were rude. They were bitchy. They were whores. They were not what I wanted to be.

Again, times have changed. I believe that parents and how a child is raised determines who they become. I believe that just because Oni is a cheerleader now does not mean that she is going to start running around with the wrong crowd and doing hellacious things like sneaking out and drinking at parties her freshman year. I don’t think so. Her mother would not let that happen. Her dad will not let that happen. I WILL NOT LET THAT HAPPEN! She is too important to a lot of people to let her chose the wrong path in life. So, we will guide her, even when she is sick and tired of us. I will continue to tell her that I love her and that here life is precious. I will tell her over and over that her heart is so special and shouldn’t be given away to just anyone. There is not “just anyone” out there who deserves her! That she can talk to me about anything and that I pray she continues to do so.

So, congrats to you on fulfilling the first of many High School dreams. May you experience all the joy and happiness that you can. May you learn and grow. I pray that you take mistakes made and turn them into lessons learned and live each day as a new one. I love you.

Mirth & Merriment.

Video Killed The Radio Star

Can you have the Luck of the Irish if you aren’t exactly Irish? Who knows. WHO CARES! I am feeling lucky…cue the Mary Chapin Carpenter song. A few weeks back, I got some mail about some money that was owed to me from a class action lawsuit I was involved in, but had no idea about. I love that! Anyway, I got a letter saying that I was awarded a little money and it will be on it’s way to me. When I say a little, I mean “a little”…enough for groceries and laundry.

Then, the very same week, I got a call from one of the radio stations I listen to saying that they had picked my TOP 5 @ 5 for that Friday. Side note: It is 5 songs that you request that they play at 5:00. I was thrilled! Wait…there’s more. I also won tickets to see Heart in concert on Friday night. SHUT UP! OMG! I was so excited, I tried to call everyone I knew…even long distance. So, at 5 pm on Friday, my songs were played: Joy Division, Barry Manilow, Erasure, Tears for Fears and B-Movie and my friend Claudia were off to see the Wilson sisters. We had dinner and several cocktails and sat in the theatre. Can I just say for the record that it must be unbelievable to wake up in the morning and be Ann Wilson. They were awesome, to say the absolute, very least.

So, this week has not been a good week for me. I have had sick kids, a boy with burned fingers because he wanted to see if the iron was REALLY hot, emotional drama and I am now not feeling well. But that all changed yesterday when I got a call from yet, another radio station letting me know that I won BON JOVI tickets. So, guess where I will be Friday, April 4th? No guesses? Really? At the BON JOVI concert swooning over Richie Sambora and the boys with my bic lighter in the air. WEEE

So, I love good luck. I don’t believe in it really, but I did play the lotto yesterday. No winners yet, but I can wait a little while longer. Just wait til that Stimulus check comes in…that should be good for the economy and ME! I am looking forward to using it to pay off some bills and take the fam to D-Land…which I was planning to do for the girls birthday, but never got around to it and frankly, didn’t have the money to.

OK. It is Thursday, so I have to dish out my Daily Dose. So, here goes. As if you weren’t bored enough! My friend Jackie who is on the verge on insanity with her impending nuptials just a few weeks away has chosen the subject, so blame her.
TOP 3 FAVORITE MUSIC VIDEOS

Wild Boyz by Duran Duran.
Ok. Simon Le Bon on that torture wheel thing where he keeps going under the water. GOOD GOD! I could blow him dry myself. Sorry, mom…that was t.m.i. I have loved Dsquared since they first arrived on the scene, but this is one of my all time favorites.

Mad World by Tears for Fears
This song came back to me after watching “Donnie Darko”. If you haven’t seen the movie, I do recommend it highly. I watched the video just recently with Claudia and I love the 80’s hair and eyeliner and that DANCING. The New Romantic sway and flailing arms. Sweet!

Vogue by Madonna
Right, like a good girl gone bad child of the aforementioned 80’s, I was a Madonnawannabe. I admit it and I have sought help for it. Recovery is a long, hard process. I love this video. She looks flawless. I love the old Hollywood glamour makeup, the full red-matte lips and her dance moves. This song always gets turned up louder in my mobile.

Honorable Mention – Girls, Girls, Girls by Motley Crue, Church of the Poisoned Mind by Culture Club, Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler, Glory Days by Bruce Springsteen and Hot For Teacher by Van Halen.

Ahhh…The Good Old Days. And none of them dropped the F-bomb!!!!


Mirth & Merriment, my people!

Don't Fear The Reaper

My blog titles, as far back as the eye can see have always been song titles. Songs that were either on my mind or the radio while I was writing. Songs that could best describe my mood or some ridiculous point that I was trying to get across to the 3 people who read my blog religiously. Music is a huge part of who I am. I can name artist or title of songs when they come on without hesitation. I even have several people who call me and ask me “who sings that song that goes, la la she was walking and la” and I know right off what it is. It’s a gift, I know. I also associate horrible or happy moments in my life with melodies that I remember from those times. So good or bad, they are all set to music. Here are some of my choices:

“Moondance” by Van Morrison.

If I had gone big-wedding, bridezilla crap, this would have been my first dance. I love the lyrics, I love his voice, I love this song. I love how it makes you sway in your chair, while you are doing some meaningless task and would rather be naked in the dark with just a small hint of moonlight hitting just the right parts of your body (you know, the one’s that look so much better in the dark!) dancing in the arms of the one you love.

Well, I wanna make love to you tonight

I cant wait til the morning has come

And I know that the time is just right

And straight into my arms you will run

And when you come my heart will be waiting

To make sure that you’re never alone

There and then all my dreams will come true, dear

There and then I will make you my own

And every time I touch you, you just tremble inside

And I know how much you want me that you cant hide


“I’ll Wait” by Van Halen.

1984 is one of my favorite all time albums. Yes, I said it…ALBUMS! There is absolutely nothing wrong with admitting to loving vinyl. I love Sammy, but you gotta somewhere deep down in your heart love the sound of Mr. David Lee Roth singing about a hot girl…or anything for that matter. This is one of those songs I somehow wish someone would sing about me.

To have someone lust after me that much would be sen-freakin-sational!!!!

I'll wait 'Til your love comes down

I'm coming straight for your heart

No way You can stop me now

As fine as you are

“Godspeed” (Sweet Dreams) by The Dixie Chicks.

I love the Chicks. I have loved them since Wide Open Spaces and love ‘em still. I dig chicks with guitars and violins and banjos and voices that can be heard from the third star to the right and straight on ‘til morning. This song is very special to me as I used to sing it to my son when he was a baby and I still am requested to do so on occasion…which I secretly love! It also reminds me of a wonderful friend of mine who gave birth to a stillborn son around the same time. Matthew used to say “Godspeed Baby Adam!” in his prayers every night and although he has forgotten about Adam, I haven’t.

The rocket racer's all tuckered out

Superman's in pajamas on the couch

Goodnight moon, will find the mouse

And I love you

Godspeed, little man

Sweet dreams, little man

Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings

Godspeed

Sweet dreams

“Elsewhere” by Sarah McLachlan.

I could have chosen the entire “Fumbling Towards Ecstasy” album, but this song is extremely special to me. I was first introduced to SM by a married man that I fell madly in love with. I couldn’t help myself. There is something about having an “affair” and also having the perfect soundtrack to it that made it seem like it wasn’t wrong…but totally right for me.

Not much else can be said about that relationship except that I wish him only happiness.

I know this love is passing time

Passing through like liquid

I am drunk in my desire...

But I love the way you smile at me

I love the way your hands reach out and hold me near...

I believe

This is heaven to no one else but me

And I’ll defend it as long as

I can be left here to linger in silence

If I choose to

Would you try to understand

“Let It Be” by The Beatles.

This is actually my earliest childhood memory. I remember that I was sitting in the back of a big-ass station wagon. You remember the one from The Brady Bunch? It was like that. It had a back window that was automatic and we could sit there and make it go up and down. I remember being in the back of that bomb and hearing this song. I hummed along because, you gotta admit that it has quite a good melody. Every time it comes on, I turn it up, roll down my windows and sing…badly! Well, come on. I’m no Paul McCartney. It probably helped that I am also a huge Sesame Street fan and “Letter B” was one of my fav’s, too!

When I find myself in times of trouble,

mother Mary comes to me,

speaking words of wisdom,

let it be.

And in my hour of darkness

she is standing right in front of me,

speaking words of wisdom,

let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

“That I Would Be Good” by Alanis Morrisette.

Around the same time I was having a lovely affair, there was this Canadian who burst on the scene and sang (excuse the language, here) fuck-you songs. I love Alanis. I think she is one of those women who can tell you off, yes, even using the C-word and you would thank her for it. I loved Jagged Little Pill and saw her on that concert tour, but her later music touched me a little deeper. This is one song that will be played at my funeral, whether anyone likes it or not. Therefore, since we are talking about my eternal rest, I am giving you the entire song.

That I would be good even if I did nothing

That I would be good even if I got the thumbs down

That I would be good if I got and stayed sick

That I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

That I would be fine even if I went bankrupt

That I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth

That I would be great if I was no longer Queen

That I would be grand if I was not all knowing

That I would be loved even when I numb myself

That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed

That I would be loved even when I was fuming

That I would be good even if I was clingy
That I would be good even if I lost sanity

That I would be good

Whether with or without you..

And so is the soundtrack of my life. Mirth & Merriment.

Maggie May

I was told twice yesterday and then once today that I have new blog readers. Welcome to it! It is never what you want to hear but always what you never expect! Got it?

It has been a year since I started this silly thing and I gotta tell ya...I'm not sure I have been happier than when sitting with Doritos and soda and writing down something useless for strangers to read. It seems like just yesterday I was disgruntled at someone who had decided to delete me from her email address book simply because I said that I don't think abortion is murder. Ahh..the good days. However, I did realize, when I finally thought about these new readers that I have that I am not sure that I would ever really tell you all the whole truth about what it is like to be me. Yes, I am an open up and say ahh kind of gal, but I would never be able to tell you, my audience, all the things that I have done, been through, had done to me, etc.. and for that matter, not so sure that you would all want to hear it.

So, it is Thursday and instead of my Daily Dose, I am going to do my version of the Moment of Truth that was on last night. Here are 3 questions that I will answer honestly, even if it hurts like hell.

1. Do you think that your biological father cares more for your sister than he does you? Hell yes! I make no bones about the fact that my father and I are on opposite ends of the love-spectrum, even though we live fairly close...well, a few States apart. I always have felt that, since I was supposed to have been born a male, that he preferred my sister over me, not just because she was a girl, but because she always seemed perfect. Seemed is the proper word there. After all these years, and the time that has passed, I do not hate him for it either. He is who he is and he cannot change who I am.

2. Do you think that you will be married to your husband in 10 years? With the current state of affairs in Kansas, I would have to say NO. I don't think so. I think if we last another 2 years, it will be a miracle and I will dance naked in the streets! You can hold me to that one if you like. I do not think that forever exists. I think that "forever" (and yes, I am doing the quote marks in the air) isn't reality. Reality is that spouses cheat, spouses lie, we fall in and out of love with each other and feelings change. Yea, it hurts like hell, but it would hurt more if you lied and kept up the facade that you were June freaking Cleaver. Would I like to be married to him 10 years from now? If his attitude and addictions change...yes, I would.

3. Is there a secret that you have that could ruin the lives of people you love? Yup. Sure is. Hey, Julie are you listening? This outta cheer you up! I have a secret about a sibling that their spouse does not know...at least I have been told in the past that they don't know. I would hope that they fessed up long ago, but I am seriously doubting their ability to do so. I once had a conversation with the spouse who is in the dark currently and since then, have bitten my tongue even when I get so pissed off that I want to scream out loud at my sibling. But, I still choose my words carefully when they are here, which THANK GOD is not often, because I am really not one to keep quiet. Imagine? I know, shocker!

So there it is. Sort of my Anniversary post. I'm done. More tomorrow...if I make it through the day.

Mirth & Merriment....

Take It To The Limit

For My Beautiful Sister....

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens;

but often we look so long at the closed door

that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."

- Helen Keller

Sometimes Love Just Aint Enough...

I am tired of being emotional. I used to laugh about it, but now it just isn’t funny.
For the second morning in a row, I have come in and before my first very large cup of coffee have gotten heartbreaking news. Now, before I go on, I realize that this is going to sound very selfish of me to sound so down in the dumps while others around me are truly suffering, but that is the kind of person I am. I feel your pain really does describe me.

My beloved older brother and his wife have decided to end their 20 year marriage. Not that I was completely shocked, as they have been having problems for awhile now, but still it feels like things that I once thought were a “sure thing” are not. In fact, not even sure that “sure things” exist at this point. Part of me wants to run to my brother and hug him and tell him that I can understand that things change. That your heart that once beat only for one woman, beats with a passion that doesn’t include her. I do not think that there was any Camilla in this marriage, except stress, finances, careers and drive. The other part of me wants to get my sister in law on the phone and cry. Just cry. She and I have become such wonderful friends that the thought of losing her scares the shit out of me. She and I have laughed and cried. We watched them pronounce Princess Diana dead together. We watched Agassi win Wimbledon together. I held her hand in a bathroom in Kaiser on Sunset as she was in labor with her first child. I have been there. We laughed over breast pumps and cried over miscarriage. I do not doubt, not for a second, that she will find herself right side up after all is said and done. She is amazing. She is also the mother to 3 of the most fantastic boys I know. Thank God that my son isn’t reading this, huh? Speaking of that, a lot of what I have learned about being a Mom, I got from Julie. If you ever want to spend time reading some exceptional prose, check out her blog at Rotten Correspondent.

Well, that was yesterday and all day I felt sort of out of sorts. I was emotional and looking for some joy. When I got here this morning, I find in my Inbox an email from a great friend of mine. She got married late last year and found out that she was pregnant. I was so happy. What a great Mom she would make!!!! Well the news this morning was devastating and spoke of the loss that she and her husband have now experienced. It is over. The joy that they wanted so desperately to share for 9 months, ended far too soon. I know that we are supposed to say something comforting and that it is God’s plan for them, but what? Fuck that. Why can’t 2 people who love each other passionately and completely bring a child into the world? Why, when there are women putting babies into trash dumpsters, would God take a child away from parents that would worship the bibs that it spit up on? I do not understand. I have never understood the plan. I know that even though there was no child held in your arms, something does happen to you when you find out you are having a baby that cannot be erased just because Doctor’s have told you that it is over. Just because a child no longer grows inside you, there is still that sense of what was once there.

So, I won’t even start with my own life. It all seems quite irrelevant at the moment.

M&M

American Girl

I want to thank all of you who posted comments or sent them to me privately on the very personal post that is right below this one. My mouth did curve up a few times and I did have to excuse myself to go to the bathroom rather than cry in front of my boss. Thank you is not enough, but it will have to do. I will post next week about the situation at hand, but for now it is Friday and I would much rather focus on something positive. Let me see if I can find something. I haven't done a Daily Dose in awhile so, here goes.

Let's make this one fun. You have just won the lottery! Your payout is a large check in the sum of $23 Million! Congrats, by the way. Give me the Top 10 things you would do first. Put them in order, I need to see what's going on in that quirky mind of yours. Ok. Here I go.

I'm a WINNER!

1. I would immediately buy a house for my family, cash! No mortgage...nothing. I would also furnish it with everything that I have ever wanted from IKEA, Pottery Barn and yes...Target. It would be the best home ever. My kitchen would be in bright colors, my living room would be red, my bedroom would be black and white and I would have huge closets!!!! Every kid gets their own room and a tv to watch whatever they want and I won't have to!

2. I would buy my parents house and the house of each of my siblings. Yes, kind of so they all would be indebted to me, but just because I don't want any of them to have to pay for the walls that house the people that I love.

3. I would put $15,000 into 4 college funds for each of my children. Granted, I am not so sure each of them will get to College, but that money will come in handy for something. Likewise, I would put $10,000 in a college fund for each of my 9 nieces and nephews and for my Goddaughter. Although a few of them are already past the college age, they will just receive the cash. Like they will complain.

4. I would take my children to Hawaii. We would surf. We would eat BBQ. We would love it.

5. Our entire family will go on a Disney Cruise. That includes my parents, all my family, my brothers and sisters and their families, too. It would do us all good to be trapped together and be forced to bond with each other. Along this line, I would buy Disneyland passes for my family so we can go visit the Mouse anytime we want.

6. I would give my parents $50,000 and each of my siblings $5,000 to do whatever they want to. They have all given me so much that I think they deserve it.

7. I would buy 2 brand new cars. AND THEY WOULD BOTH BE BIG ENOUGH TO FIT OUR FAMILY. I would prefer an Escalade, Suburban...but it has to have the tv screens in it.

8. I would get everyone to the dentist and get our teeth fixed.

9. I would pay off every single debt I have. Also, I would over pay my utilities so that I wouldn't have a bill for the next 3 years!

10. I would go to the cemetery and place at least 1 rose on each grave there. I have thought about this since I was a young girl. I always found it very sad when there were graves that looked like nobody had been there in years. It would do my heart good.

So. With all of my money, I think I have made mine and few other dreams come true. How about you? What would you do?

Mirth & Merriment...and Money, Money, Money!!!!

All Of My Love?

When I started blogging I was apprehensive about it. Yes, even the girl who likes to share everything about anything was worried about putting it all out there. And not for the reasons you might think. I was honestly afraid of how people would view me. Not that I am embarrassed about the enormous size of my breasts or my lack of sex drive, but because I do not want pity or for people to lose respect for me just simply because of decisions that I have made. There are also blogs that I have posted that did not fully amplify the reality of my life, which I am going to try and do today. This might just be the hardest blog I have ever written, but after a sleepless night filled with anger, worry and regret it is something that I must do to clear my head for better days ahead. Taking a note from my dearly beloved Rotten Correspondent, I too may remove the blog once it is read by certain people in order to not receive frantic phone calls from my mother.

It is now 8:26 a.m. on Wednesday, March 5, 2008 and I do not love my husband. I am pretty sure that I loved him yesterday and that I might find it in my heart to love him tomorrow, but as for today, it just isn’t going to be easy. I will admit that I am not the easiest chick to live with and be committed to, but it has gotten to the point where I feel nervous about what is going on in his head and I don’t like feeling like this. Here is where my story begins.

My husband is an alcoholic. When I say that, I mean it. He drinks as much beer as possible in one sitting and he does this as often as work will allow. He admits that he is an alcoholic and laughs it off as if it is some sort of Boy Scout Badge that he is proud of. I have been an enabler of this addiction since we met. I have gone to get him beer when I knew he had had enough. I have noticed our last $20 missing from my wallet and a fridge full of Bud Light and said nothing. I do not do this because I like him better when he is drunk. Far from it! I do it because I do not like the idea of making him unhappy. That is my fault and I take the blame for it. It has had it’s ups and downs. In the beginning, he was sort of a happy, flirtatious drunk. We would fall into bed and just enjoy each other.

Then came the angry drunk. On that warm July 4th night when he chocked me in front of my young son, I knew things would have to change or I would die. I survived that night for a reason. Unknown to me, I was just 3 weeks pregnant with our twin girls. Yes, they both survived along with me after being thrown around the room. Any torture that he could do to me, I thought, would be fine as long as my son was safe. Little did I know that our beautiful twins were also in danger. I thank God everyday for those girls….for more than a few reasons.

After him sobering up, attending a few AA meetings and promising that it was just a one-night thing that happened, I moved back into our house after being with Matthew at my mom’s. The next week, I was having severe migraines and went to my doctor to find out that we were expecting. Some joy in the face of what was a horrible storm. My first thought that night was being a single mom. Could I do it alone? Not financially, that was for sure. I loved him so very much and I wanted things to be different. Different is not always better.

When I was pregnant with the girls and for the first two years after, our own lives went through some heavy changes. We moved into a new place. Anthony lost a job and was out of work for awhile until he found more work. I left my job for one with night hours so that I could be home with the babies during the day while he worked. He lost his job again. We moved again. I lost my job and then returned home to where I truly felt like I belonged and was welcomed back with open arms. He started to work a crappy night job and then got laid off. We were in financial trouble. We were going to be evicted from our home and we had no money and nowhere to go. We made the decision to split up and he took the girls to his grandmothers and I took Matthew to my mom’s. His grandmother cannot stand Matthew or any little boys for that matter and Matthew was registered at my former elementary school around the corner from my mom’s house. Being without the girls was horrible. Then, he got a job. A real job. Lots of hours and it kept him home with the girls during the day and working at night. No time for drinking. That was great! It kept him occupied.

Except on the weekends when he would drop off the girls to me and drink all weekend. I would get text messages at 3 am from him asking me who at work I was cheating on him with. I would get several, some which I would answer, but most of them I ignored. I have not ever cheated on my husband, let alone with a co-worker. He does not believe me. Yes, I have lied to him in the past, but never about cheating. There have been flirtatious emails and such, but I would never think of ruining a marriage that I was fighting so hard to keep solid. Ridiculous! After 4 months of being separated, I found an apartment and moved in…with him. It was actually nice to be with him. He was still working nights and I had some peace in my life.

My husband has issues about cheating. He has issues about deception. He has issues…period! He has accused me of some hideous things that I really don’t want to express..even in a blog! However, last night really stopped me in my tracks.

He did not work last night or the night before. He had been moved to days but was only getting 10 hours a week or so. Great! No more money! No food in the fridge! I owe everyone and have no money to pay anyone! My only saving grace there is the rent and bills are paid. The night before he had gone over to his friends house and I got several text’s that were a little incoherent, so I ignored him. Last night, he was home and could not be ignored. It started at 3:00 am when he came into the bedroom with Matthew asleep on the bed next to me and the girls who had fallen asleep on the floor next to my bed after story time. He crawled in next to me and demanded sex. Well, I must tell you that I was not in the mood and tired so I said no. Then it started. Who else are you sleeping with? Does this phone number sound familiar? I know the truth. Just tell me. After about an hour of this, he decided to tell me that, without telling too much here, someone had told him that SHE had proof that I had slept with someone else and that he had that proof. Ok. Whatever. What he kept saying was “just tell me the truth”. Well, I was telling the truth…it just wasn’t what he wanted to hear. I vehemently denied this and all rumors of infidelity. It is such a bizarre thought to me why spouses cheat? Why not stay single?

(Side note- I was the “other woman” in the past and I still don’t respect married men who sleep with other women, and vice versa ladies!)

At 4:30 a.m., I finally told him to get out of my room and leave me alone. He told me that he would. In fact, he told me that he would leave…period. That he had someone else and he would leave me for her...the whore stripper that he is friends with. At that point, I didn’t care. If he did have someone on the side, I was not concerned. My main concern is myself and my kids and although he has gotten violent in the past, I do truly believe that he would never harm his children. I cannot even think it. My alarm went off less than 45 minutes later and I snoozed it. I forgot about the shower, the hair, the face. I was pretty sure my day was crap so I didn't really care how I looked. He was passed out on the living room floor when I left.

The thought of going home to him tonight makes me want to cry. I did not get married to cry. I did not get married to be verbally and mentally mistreated. I did not get married to hate my husband. I got married for better or worse, right? They said that at the wedding. I knew what kind of man he was when I got married and I still took that leap of faith. Faith that he would somehow become a better person and that I would, too. That just doesn’t happen. In fact, he has gotten worse and I am almost certain that it will continue to spiral. I have thought of interventions. However, he has so many friends and his parents who are alcoholics that it would not do me any good. Nobody would help me. It would also cost him his job to go into a rehab center and cost us money that we don’t have. I have thought of leaving him. However, I would not be able to afford my apt on my own and there is absolutely nowhere else to turn. I am at the cul-de-sac of marriage and I either park or turn around and keep going. My heart tells me not to give up, but how can I continue? How? Why can't I have what they have on the E-Harmony commercials? Is that real? Do people really get that happy over love? I did...but that was a lifetime ago.

Please note that my husband is a wonderful sober person. He is cute and funny. Not so much romantic, but ….who needs flowers (me!) I wish that he would stay that person all the time and then my blog might be a bit more boring, but I would be happy. But would I? Would I be able to forget the hateful words? I know I have never forgotten the bruises and hurt of that Independence Day. I have never forgiven myself for allowing Matthew to see me being hurt and the drama that he has had to endure. I will have that for the rest of my life. What I don’t want is for my children to be subjected to anything else that will harm them. That is my dilemma. Just one of them. How do I fight this? How do I fight a monster that I love? How do I go on living with a man that I can’t live with? How?

Now that I am crying and trying to work, I will stop. I have much to do and much to think of throughout my day. My joy is that at the end of my work day, I will see three smiling faces who think I am beautiful and perfect and love me with all their little hearts. That is what I wake up for. They are who I will fight for. They are who I would go to the ends of the earth for. They are the one’s who I must sacrifice everything for. My babies.

Mirth and Merriment doesn’t seem fitting at the moment. Later!

Slow Ride

I seem to always say the wrong thing at the right time. Huh? That means that something off-color, racy, dirty or flirtatious always comes out of my mouth. See! There I go again! One example from just a few minutes ago goes something like this. My IT manager is here and has yet to repair the printer on my desk that HE BROKE three weeks ago. So, being witty-me I said “When you have a few minutes to blow…come down!” What I meant was when you have some extra time, come over to my office and see what you can do to help me print better. That is what it sounded like, right? Well, wouldn’t ya know that the whole place erupted in laughter and redness…especially Mr. IT (who bro…by the way is a USC Grad!)? Oh well. I gotta be me!

Yesterday was the girls’ first dental appointment. First of all, let me explain to you my previous dental experience. I hate the dentist. Ok. I take that back…hate is the wrong word. I would rather roll around in someone else’s feces while eating rotten eggs and hearing a book on tape read by George W Bush. Too vivid? As a child, I always had teeth-issues. When one dentist decided that all I had to be given in order to remove a “few” teeth was “laughing gas”, I knew something was wrong with this sadistic bastards. But when I cried out in pain, nobody believed me. Whatever. Anyway, after braces and retainers and root canals and pulled teeth and 4 impacted wisdom teeth, I know a thing or two. Even making a dental appt. for someone else makes me sweat like a virgin on prom night.

Matthew’s first visit to a dentist was horrific. They found that because his teeth were so close together that all of his cavities were between his teeth. Ok, what does that mean to a 4 year old? Well, it means they cap the front 4 teeth after filing the rotten ones down, pull out 1 and put in a spacer an fill the other cavities. This was my baby! I was told all of this while I was pregnant with the girls and because I was gestational I would not be allowed in with him because of the gas. Screw that! I made them wait until the girls were about 3 months old.

As we walk into the office, there are video games and such to keep his mind off of things. His dad was there with me for the whole blissful experience. YEAH, RIGHT! They take my first born and strap him down; One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest strapped down and the only part of his body that I could touch were his feet. They gave him shots of Novocain. The entire time, my son is trying to speak while screaming a sound that I would never like to hear again, thank you so much. “Doctor, can we do this tomorrow?” “I promise”, “Please stop hurting me” “AHHHHHH….I want my MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!”. I struggled to hold it together. I ripped off his Batman tennies and stroked his foot, trying to convince him and myself that it would be over soon. It was some of the worst moments of my life. Afterwards, nothing could get me to him faster. I held him while he sobbed and became angry that I had allowed someone to hurt him like this. I told the dentist, as I had on our initial visit that I don’t do Novocain well. In fact, I usually take a couple extra doses to fully get numb. The dentist kind of shrugged it off telling me that if he had been in real pain, they would have noticed. What part of crying and begging for help did they not see? I could tell he was hurting! What are they Nazi’s? Needleless to say and without any input of my dental past, my son hates to think about the dentist. When he found out that his baby sisters were going, he was trying to comfort them. I told him that they weren’t going in for a visit where they were going to need a shot or any work done and he did not believe me for a minute. But, he was happy that I had reassured him that he was NOT going with them.

So, cut to yesterday. I picked up my angels from school. They were thrilled to see me there so early and I was happy to know that after our office visit, we would have the rest of a great, sunny day to spend at the park. We got to the dentist and they were ancy, only because the only TV that was on was about porcelain veneers and there were NO toys. NO TOYS! Ok. So after just a 10 minute wait, most of which I spent telling them to sit still and taking them to the bathroom, the dental assistant came to get us. I got chills as I saw the chair that they wanted my Bean to sit in. She gladly climbed her big booty into the seat and I thought to myself “Please don’t let one of them fall apart while the other is still waiting for her turn!” That would be wretched. But, there she sat….wide mouthed. Talking to the dentist….laughing…meowing (her specialty)…rinsing and spitting. Perfect Angel with….hold on, wait for it….perfect teeth. No cavities! Can I get an Amen? I was so proud. When the assistant cleaned her teeth, she even helped by holding the “spit sucker”. I could not have been happier.

Then I looked down and realized that I still had 1 chance at a sucky day…it was now Aliza’s turn. Same thing. Perfectly pleasant and perfect teeth, with the exception of our infamous thumb sucker pushing her top two teeth out of line. Oh well. Even if she is Bugs Bunny, she is still all mine! They got new Dora and Spongebob toothbrushes and stickers.

So, what turned out to be a day that I would dread turned out to be a great day. We picked up the big bro and we did go to the park and then McDonald’s for a quick bite to eat. It was wonderful. I am grateful beyond words. It could have so not gone my way and a little sunshine made it perfect.

And, how was your last trip to the dentist?

Mirth & Merriment….
(I was asked to explain my M&M statement above. It was something that was written to me in my Senior yearbook by my fav teacher, Mrs. J. She said that I brought her much Mirth and Merriment. Probably one of the nicest things I ever heard…so there ya go!)

Mexican Radio

It is finally Friday. I cannot believe it. It is also a very important day in our family. Today, my baby sister finally marries the man of her dreams. I am so happy for her. Congrats to you both!!!
This is from my sister’s blog and since I am bored…I thought I would tell you more stuff that you probably don’t care about.

60 Things You Possibly Don't Know About Me1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?Two booster seats2. When was the last time you threw up? Probably just a few weeks ago. I throw up all the time. It’s sorta my thing!

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?Two booster seats

2. When was the last time you threw up? Probably just a few weeks ago. I throw up all the time. It’s sorta my thing!

3.What's your favorite curse word?
I prefer cocksucker. Although the F word can be used in so many different areas of daily life. Get me?

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today?
The first 3 would be Athena, Aliza and Hoa.

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
I was supposed to be sitting at my desk, but due to mommyness, I was probably outside getting out of my car.

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Looking through a Cookie Lee jewelry catalog, trying desperately not to spend money.

7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now?
Recovering from eating lunch, hopefully.

8. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Yes, just a few times and it really wasn’t for me.

9.What is the last thing you said aloud?
Ya think?

10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
Ben & Jerry’s Coffee Heath Bar.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Coffee, my third cup!

12. What are you wearing right now?
Jeans, converse and my Heart concert shirt. I won tickets and went to see them last Friday…it was awesome!

13. What was the last thing you ate?
Blueberry French Toast Sticks from Jack in the Box.

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Nope.

15. When was the last time you ran?
Running? Isn’t that an exercise? Oh no. I never do that.

16. What's the last sporting event you watched?
I think a the 4th quarter of the Superbowl. Unless the Ninja Warrior Tournament counts!

18. Who is the last person you emailed?
Brian.

19. Ever go camping?
I don’t go anymore, but as a child some of my best times were camping with my grandparents. I loved it. Roughing it was great. I have a hard time wrapping my head around doing it now with 3 kids. I fear it, actually.

20. Do you have a tan?
Are you kidding me with this? Nope. I’m so white, I’m almost blue! 2

21. Do you tweeze, wax or unibrow?
I tweeze....religiously

22. What kind of jelly on your PB & J?
I like Blackberry, but my grandmother used to have the best orange-pineapple stuff!

23. What is your longest romantic relationship?
The one I am in...over 8 years.

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
When I have a straw handy.

25. What did your last IM say?
That was a cute picture!

26. Are you someone's best friend?
Sure. I mean, I think so. I hope so….GOD, I HOPE SO!

27. What are you doing tomorrow?
Saturday in the Park. We are getting food and chillin. I love hanging out with my girls.

28. Where is your mom right now?
At my sisters wedding in Arizona.

29. Look to your left, what do you see?
Some Performance Reviews that need to be done.

30. What color is your watch?
I have several and the face varies, but they are all silver.

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Nicole Kidman and that freaky movie about those kids getting lost in the Outback and attacked by crazy people. The name escapes me….

32. Would you consider plastic surgery?
If you’re buying…I’m in. Here is my list….

33. What is your birthstone?
Citrine. Yes. It is the color of cat piss! Thanks.

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
With 2, 3 year olds…drive thru, baby.

35.How many kids do you want?
Do I get more? Just the 4 that I have, thanks.

36. Do you have a dog?
Nope.

37.Last person you talked to on the phone?
Bobby

38. Have you met anyone famous?
Yes

39. Any plans today?
I am supposed to be working, duh! I have no plans except to get to chill out with my kids as quickly as possible.

40. How many states have you lived in?
I am guessing. Mom, help me out. Hawaii, Arizona, California and Texas?

41. Ever go to college?
Yup. I really need to go back and finish.

42. Where are you right now?
Sitting at my desk

43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
Being hungry is getting on my nerves…

44. Last song listened to?
The Violent Femmes are on right now.

45. Do you know all the words to the Pledge of Allegiance?
Good question, yes I do. In fact my girls do to... :)

46. Are you allergic to anything?
I have seasonal allergies.

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
I love my converse.

48. Are you jealous of anyone?
God, I hate this. Yes, I am. I would say that I envy someone who seems to have it all together, ya know? The hair. The home. The family. However, I have a sneaky suspicion that nobody holds it together. I think we are on the edge of a major mental breakdown each minute of the day and those of us who are hanging on by their fingernails should take some advice and get medicated.

50. Is anyone jealous of you?
I sure hope not.

51. What time is it? 11:52 a.m.

52. Do any of your friends have children?
Not too many, actually.

53. Do you eat healthy?
Are you kidding me with this? Not if I can help it.

54. What do you usually do during the day?
I work. That’s it. Just work. Oh and try and find time to enjoy my life.

55. Do you hate anyone right now?
I refuse to think of myself as a hater.

56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
I guess. I think I use “HI” more.

58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
38…just one step closer to hot flashes.

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Yup. I love roller coasters. I am waiting until the boy is a bit taller so he can enjoy it.

60. How did you get one of your scars?
I have several small scars on my elbow. When I was 5, I fell in the street and a little neighborhood boy, I will call him Butthead, rode his bicycle over my arm and broke it in several places. A few days after I got the cast on, I broke out in chicken pox. My brother, who is a freakin’ genius, made a wire coat hanger that I could put down the cast and itch my pox. However, the genius idea left a few scars.